Broken Vows
by Rob-My-Dream
Summary: At seven years old Isabella Marie Swan decided she had a calling. By the time she was sixteen she gave a vow of chastity in preperation for her life in service. When she moves to Forks in tenth grade, she has no idea just how tested she will become. When Edward decides to make a move on her after spending the whole year watching from a distance.
1. Chapter 1

Edited by MarchHare5

Broken Vows

By RobMyDream

Ch.1

A Vow of Never

Edward's POV

When I was seventeen I saw the girl of my dreams, a beautiful, brown-haired, brown- eyed angel. She was adorable, and my heart was simply stolen the first time our eyes met. She looked down quickly, a tint of rouge coloring her high cheek bones, before she walked off with one of her friends. Shy? I thought, smiling.

I spent the whole of eleventh grade just watching her from a distance. She fascinated me to no end. I'd never seen a girl with such grace and beauty. When I heard her voice, there was no better sound for me. I was a pretty popular guy, but when it came to her, inside at least, I couldn't care less what my peers thought. I'd try to open doors for her when I could, say hello every morning that I could catch her by her locker, offer her rides home, which she never took. She stayed aloof, always distant and careful.

My friends immediately didn't like her. They thought she was beneath me, which made no sense. I couldn't understand how they weren't seeing the same budding woman I did. She was like a flower opening every morning, its closed petals slowly revealing vibrant color, a pink only to be compared to the color of her cheeks when she was embarrassed.

All year I wanted badly to ask her out. She was a year behind me in school, and I was in honor classes, so unfortunately we didn't have any together. I had to be happy with passing her in the hall or watching her during my lunch period. It wasn't enough, but it hardly mattered since she lived next door to me, our bedroom windows facing each other. Sometimes I'd wait in the shadows for her to look out at the sky in the morning like she liked to do. I'd appear in my window just in time to give her a wave and a smile.

I spent all year trying to find a way to ask her on a date, away from the prying eyes of my friends. I was furious with myself for allowing them to dictate who I was interested in or

not. I don't know how many times I got the speech about how I had a reputation to protect.

Not long ago that would have meant something to me. I was the guy all guys looked up to and all girls wanted to be with. The few times I'd had any conversations with her only made me want her more. She was so different from other girls, so untouched by the pressures to be whatever made you acceptable.

I guess in a way I got tired of it: the pressure of always trying to show up to everyone, the pressure of being looked at and copied, the fake girls who stayed with me only because they wanted to look good and be accepted by the status quo. There was never any depth to my relationships. I just wanted to be with someone real for once.

Isabella Marie Swan was real. She represented my freedom. I needed her. I dreamt of her constantly, and after a year of simply standing by, I decided it was time to seduce and win the heart of my angel.

I figured summer break was the perfect time to get to know her better. I didn't want to waste any more time and risk some other guy getting her before I could. So on the last day of school, I decided to ask her if she wanted a ride home. It wasn't like me to have waited this long to make a move. There was just something about her that made her seem so untouchable.

It was the end of the day at the end of the school year when I made my move. I saw her by her locker, packing all her belongings into her school bag. She always had this book with her everywhere, clutched tightly to her chest. She had it covered with pink paper, but that book never ever left her grasp.

As she loaded books and papers into her bag, I saw the book start to fall out of her arm where she had it tucked under her tiny bicep. I quickly walked up to her, grabbing it before she could. A good deed right? A conversation starter?

"Whoops, here you go," I said, as I scooped the book up off the floor to hand to her. She took it from me quickly, clutching it to her chest.

"Ah, thank you, Edward," she said, making me tingle as she said my name.

"Hey, I was wondering. You know, since we are neighbors, would you like a ride home?"

Still holding her book tightly she blushed furiously, looking down at her feet. "Um, I really shouldn't. I usually walk, so no. I'm fine, but thank you very much," she said, while continuing to shove the rest of the contents of her locker into her bag.

"Aw, come on. I won't bite you, Isabella."

She stared at me in awe before closing her empty locker and throwing her backpack over her shoulder. Her thumb nervously caressed the spine of the book she still held tightly.

"Okay, that would very nice, Edward." I was so excited as I led her out to my car. Being the new gentleman that I was becoming, I opened the door for her, watching her slide in. She adjusted her skirt nervously before I winked at her and shut the door.

Once we were on the road I felt much more at ease. She was quiet and unassuming, staring at the scenery as it went by and smiling as we drove.

"So, I hope we can get to know each other this summer?" I asked. She giggled shyly.

"What?" I asked, clearly not in on the joke.

"I'm sorry, Edward. It's just I know about you. I can't imagine we'd have much in common."

"Well, we won't know till we get to know each other, right?" I said, smiling over at her. She seemed to take a nervous breath before shaking her head lightly.

"Look, I need to be honest with you. I don't know what your intentions are, but I'm not like the girls you hang out with. I don't want you to think that you and I could be anything more than friends."

I furrowed my brow, looking over at her with what I was sure was a pained expression. She looked at me sympathetically before opening her book and flipping absentmindedly through the pages. Deciding to move on to a different topic, wounded by her rejection when I hadn't even made a play, I inquired, "So what is with the book you carry around all the time?"

I hadn't meant to offend her; it was just a simple, curious statement. Her eyes filled with glossy tears before she looked away. Closing the book slowly without looking, she held it to her chest again. "It's the Bible," she barely whispered.

"Oh, why would you carry that around? I mean, not that it's a bad thing, just it seems kind of strange." Okay, where was my smoothness now? She was making me so nervous, because I was clearly pushing her away. I hadn't even been in her presence more than ten minutes.

She was silent for a long time before I pulled my car up in front of her house. I turned off the engine, hoping she might talk to me for a little while longer.

"Look, I don't want to give you a bad impression of me. I mean, I am sure you already have one. I just really think you are special, and I have wanted to ask you out all year. I just want to know you. I promise I'm a nice guy." I turned toward her in my seat, reaching for her nervous hand.

She immediately pulled away. "I like you, Edward. I do. I don't usually listen to gossip, and you do seem really nice. I just can't be more than a friend. If you are okay with that, than we can be just that. Friends."

"Well, how do you know we can't be more than friends? I mean, you don't really know me yet. Can't we get to know each other, and then see what we are from there?" She remained quiet.

"Isabella, you are so beautiful. Please give me a chance," I asked her, desperation lining my voice.

"Thank you for the compliment, Edward. I'm sure there are many beautiful girls to hang on your arm. I can't imagine why I'd be interesting to you." Her large brown eyes looked up at me innocently.

I wasn't used to a girl not automatically bending to my will, which only made me more intrigued by her. I found myself wanting to just lean over and kiss her, break the spell she had me under. "What is it? Are you already seeing someone?" She shook her head no.

"Okay, I'm just going to ask. I've been thinking about this for too long. I like you a lot. I know I don't know you, but I want to. I really want to. Isabella, I'm sure you are about the most interesting girl at this school. Please, let me take you on a date tonight. I'll show you that I'm worth it. We'll have dinner, go to a movie. Just a nice evening getting to know each other. Please?"

"Edward, I'm sorry. I just can't," she said with trepidation.

"You won't even give me a chance?" I asked with exasperation in my tone.

"I can't. Please, this isn't easy for me." Her hands twisted in her lap.

"Can you at least tell me why?"

"Edward, I've made a commitment to God. A year ago today to be exact. I've taken a vow of chastity, and one day soon, after I have finished high school, I am becoming a nun. So that is why I can't be more than a friend, and even that will be hard."

I stared at her with my mouth wide open. Suddenly so many things about her made sense, except I couldn't imagine why a young, vibrant girl would make such a huge decision at her age. My heart was breaking before I could even have a chance. It hit me just what this girl meant to me, that maybe I saw a future with her, but now she was telling me there was barely even a chance we could be friends.

Her hand went to open the door, and I became desperate to stop her.

"Isabella!" I called out before she could walk away. "I still want to be your friend!"

She looked put out by my statement, staring at me as if she felt sorry for me. She looked into my eyes, holding her breath briefly.

"Okay, we can be friends, Edward," she told me, smiling before she closed the door to my car and walked away. She said we could be friends, but I couldn't help but hope for more.

I smiled at her retreating form, then sat back, closing my eyes. I realized then my entire world was about to change.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Edited by MarchHare5

Broken Vows

By RobMyDream

Ch.2

Running Scared

Isabella's POV

I ran up to my room at the speed of light, bolting through my bedroom door. Sitting in the middle of my bed, I held tightly to my Bible, asking God once again to forgive me for my thoughts today.

I had had a crush on Edward Cullen since moving to Forks a year ago. My father had just retired from the military, where we lived in Virginia, when he decided to move back to Forks where my mother came from. My father was a quiet Catholic man, who lived for me since losing our mother two years ago to breast cancer.

Even my father, who was very religious, had his doubts about what I have decided to do with my future. He supported me, but he constantly reminded me that there was more than one way to honor God—which is true, but I just felt like this was what I was supposed to do.

I've never been in love; of course at my age I suppose that wasn't a huge surprise. This was usually what got people in a worry over my decision. They thought I was turning away something exciting, that I was not even giving one of God's gifts a chance, that it wasn't necessary to lock myself away to be of service.

It wasn't as if I haven't weighed all my options. This one just seemed to fit my plans best. I've been sure about this since I was seven. It wasn't easy to explain why at such a young age this came to me. My family was always very religious, very devoted to helping others. I was always so grateful to God for every person and every thing in my life.

I worried about where the world was going, what would happen when this world was over. I was thankful for being given the breath, the muscle, the heart to make others understand the message of our Creator.

Nothing else seemed to matter. I'd successfully gone through my school years, never needing that sort of thing. I didn't have the desire to date; I didn't need to slobber over a boy in the hallways. It was almost as if that side of me was non-existent. I was slightly embarrassed to say that I took that as a sign from God, that my priorities lay elsewhere. I took this as confirmation that I was headed down the path He had planned for me.

Then came Edward Anthony Cullen, and suddenly I was in a personal battle with lust, a lust against which I was praying every day. Then today I sighed a breath of relief. The end of the school year had come. Sure, he was my neighbor, but I rarely saw him. I could get past this; it happens to the best of us before we take that final step. It was just a test, and I would overcome it in the name of my Savior.

But as I sat in his car with him, trying to politely reject him, trying to give him the hint that I was perhaps not the girl for him, he seemed so hurt by my admission.

I was proud of what I had decided to do with my life. In saying that though, I kept it a secret from everyone I knew—which really wasn't a good idea, simply because it should never be something you undertook lightly. You should be proud in your convictions—not that this meant you shouted it from the rooftops. However, as Sister Mary has always told me, in order to make a sacrifice, you must be tested. To be tested, to know your strengths, your weaknesses, you must be willing to live. Because like it or not, the earth that God created was your home.

She was right, and her message was clear. Live your life now, practice your faith, and do not take the vow until you are absolutely sure that a life completely committed to God is one that you really want. Because God has given you free will, he has given you a choice. Just because you decided to take the vow did not mean you would never be tested again. It would mean never getting married, never having sex, never having children, no wealth, no possessions. Simply servitude.

In truth, that is all I wanted. To serve Him. To be a beacon of light on this earth. To bring comfort to those in need.

I knew that Edward Cullen paid me quite a bit of attention, though I didn't seek to return it or lead him on. I liked him a lot. He was popular and often acted outrageously with his friends. I could tell, though, he was special. He always made habit of being nice to me every day.

I kept my interactions with him short and hopefully polite. He had a smile that you couldn't help but return to him. I spent a lot of time praying about my feelings for him, feelings I had no right to have because for one, I hardly knew him. He was the one guy in

that school I knew right away I had to steer clear from—because he was the one that could break my convictions. He was what others had warned me of.

He was the definition of want. Just when I thought I'd dodged that bullet, here he was: my test, the biggest test God had given me to date. I wanted to be near him with everything in my body. My skin vibrated with the need to touch him when he was around.

Today, God decided to push me a little harder. When Edward approached me I lost all my calm. I fumbled; I stuttered; my first instinct was to run. Then I remembered that the last thing I wanted to do was insult him, so I finally accepted his ride home.

He'd been asking me all year, complaining that it was safer for me and reminding me that we lived by each other. Well, let's just say my excuses to him sounded pretty lame. If you didn't want to be tempted though, you didn't stand in front of the apple tree, so to speak. I had avoided him successfully all year.

Now he made his intentions known. He wanted me to go out with him. I hadn't had any practice in thwarting these kind of advances, so I got scared and just told him. It was a hard thing for me to do. I hadn't realized keeping my vows a secret was going to open me up to feeling so vulnerable.

When he'd asked me about why I carried my Bible around all the time, I started tearing up with frustration. I mean, surely this young, exciting, virile boy couldn't begin to understand what all this meant to me. So I offered the only thing I would ever be able to: friendship.

I could see he felt hurt; he couldn't understand why this was all I could give him. Even as I explained my intentions to commit to God, he seemed amazed that anyone would do such a thing. I hoped now as a friend I could maybe teach him, show him the beauty of the vow I would be taking, instead of the life he thought I'd be missing.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Edited by MarchHare5

Broken Vows

By RobMyDream

Ch.3

Making Me Smile

Isabella's POV

My eyes popped open as the summer breeze came through my window, winding the sheer curtains into a seamless dance against the carpeted floor. Gentle rays of sunlight from the summer morning lay across the foot of my bed. I sat up to stretch and yawn.

Immediately I stood, before kneeling at my bedside to thank the Father for waking me up today, for continuing to love me even with all my faults, for allowing me another day to be worthy of serving him. I was deep in prayer when a small object whizzed through the air and hit me on the top of my head. I opened my eyes in shock, staring up at my opened window.

The offending object sat on my bed, a tiny piece of wrapped candy. The wrapper gave the candy the appearance of a strawberry. I smiled as I looked around my room. "It couldn't be?" I thought. Completely forgetting my prayers, I walked to the open window.

Sure enough, there he stood: Edward Cullen in full morning glory, a crooked grin plastered on his face, his hair a wild forest of wayward insanity. He had on his pajamas from what I could tell, and he was holding up a white dry erase board with some words on it. I only noticed after waving and smiling back at him.

As I tried my best to read what was written, he finally shoved his arm out of his window with the board in hand. We weren't really that far from each other, maybe seventy-five yards, but I had to laugh when I finally just spoke out.

"You could just shout what you want. No need to throw things or write cryptic messages." I rubbed the top of my head in feigned annoyance. I heard him chuckle lightly.

He held a finger up to his lips. "I didn't want to wake the neighbors," he told me as he whispered loudly across the expanse of yard between our houses.

"Ah, good point," I replied, before another cool summer breeze swept against my chest, straight through the light fabric of my nightgown. Realizing I wasn't properly dressed, I slid the sheer curtain in front of me in embarrassment.

His lips seemed to purse in some kind of disappointment at my actions. Then he spoke in a normal voice. "Can I take you to breakfast?"

Before I could say no, he begged me not to say no. "Please?" he whined. I wanted to go, so I simply nodded, asking him to give me half an hour to get ready. The smile he gave me at my acceptance left me dazed.

Getting to my knees beside my bed, I asked forgiveness for the distraction before finishing my prayers. Then I went to take a nice hot shower and check on my father before letting him know where I was going.

"You going with some girl friends?" he asked, knowing I didn't often go out with anyone.

"Dad, I can stay here and make you breakfast if you'd like," I told him, not wanting to get into the topic of the well-known Edward Cullen.

"No, that isn't what I want. I just wanted to know who you are going out with so early on a Friday morning."

My hands went to my chest as I contemplated my answer. Of course contemplating it meant I might not be truthful, so I just blurted it out. "Edward Cullen, the boy next door. He asked me to breakfast."

My father's eyebrows rose in thought. He grumbled something unintelligible before smiling. "Okay, have fun. Just let me know where you are. Use your phone." I knew my father trusted me; he didn't have any reason not to. Still the fact that he wasn't further alarmed by me going somewhere with Edward was a bit surprising.

I got dressed in a pair of black sweatpants, a generic pair of black tennis shoes, a long- sleeved navy blue shirt, and of course my Bible. It had become such a staple with me. I

needed it to remind me in hard times what I was working toward. It gave me strength to keep my resolve. To stay strong.

When I walked outside my front door, Edward stood by his car in front of our house. He had on a pair of black running shorts, some black Adidas shoes, and a red v-necked t- shirt. His hair was like two tidal waves had crashed against each other, causing them to meet up and point in the middle of his head, a neat array of chaotic disturbance. On him it looked like a work of art.

"Good morning, you," he said, opening the passenger door to allow me inside. I sat down as he closed the door gently. I asked the Father for strength and grabbed the rosary around my neck, until I found the cross at the end. I held it tightly, kissing it once before putting it away. Edward stared at me from his seat in awe.

"Where would you like to eat?" he asked, suddenly backing out of his trance. I didn't really care; I was just happy to be spending some time with a potential friend. Of course I'd be lying if I ignored the fact that just being in his presence was thrilling.

"Wherever you'd like to go," I told him quietly. "Oh, and I have to be at church by one o'clock. Just so you know. You wouldn't mind dropping me off, would you?" I asked, not wanting to impose.

"Sure. Why do you need to go there on a Friday though?" he asked.

"Oh, I usually help clean the church. I also do some studying, prayer, and I have a counselor I see, who is helping me on my journey." As he pulled up to Denny's Restaurant, he cut the engine before looking over at me blankly.

"You're really serious about all this, aren't you?" he asked suddenly, his face a canvas of serious thought.

"Of course I am," I said, feeling a small amount of nervousness.

"Can I ask why?" he questioned, as we sat down, taking a sip of our waters while we waited for our orders to be cooked.

It took a minute to realize he was talking about my last statement. "Why?" I looked at him in exasperation. Wasn't it clear without explanation? I guessed by the look on his face that it wasn't. I just was not used to explaining this to people. I found myself playing with my fork, trying to decide how to make him understand.

"Do you go to church?" I asked, turning the question back to him.

"No," he returned, scratching his neck nervously. He looked away, unable to make eye contact with me.

"I'm not going to judge you; it was just a question. Your choice not to go is just that. Just like my choice to go and make the decision I am making is mine. There are different paths we take in life. This is my path." I thanked our waitress as she laid my scrambled eggs with toast on a plate in front of me and handed Edward his large three cheese omelet and hash browns.

He immediately began digging in, which made me smile as I closed my eyes to say a silent prayer, thanking God for both our meals and for bringing Edward to me. When I opened my eyes he was looking at me guiltily.

"I'm sorry..." he stuttered, as if he wanted to say more, then stopped himself, when I picked up my fork, assuring him he'd done nothing wrong.

"I'm not here to convert you. I am just here enjoying my morning with a friend," I assured him, touching his hand lightly. He seemed to shiver at our contact before I pulled away, heat trailing through my fingers. I absentmindedly touched my rosary, trying to pull strength from it.

"Edward, dude, I been calling you all morning, man." A big burly guy leaned against our table on his hands. I immediately put down my fork to take in the situation.

"Oh, hey, Emmett." Edward seemed nervous now. He stopped eating before taking a glass of water to his lips, sipping slowly. Emmett looked over at me, smiling.

"Oh, I get it. You guys on a date or something? Nice to meet you, I am Emmett McCarty, best friend to Edward here. Or at least I thought so until he stopped taking my calls. And you are?" Before I could speak in reply, Emmett took my hand stretched out to shake and kissed it, replying for me. "A gorgeous lady."

I'm pretty sure my blush was more than present on my face and neck. "Isabella," I replied quietly. Looking over at Edward, I saw he was visibly irritated with the whole exchange. He looked questioningly up to Emmett.

"Our run, man. You coming?"

"Oh, I forgot, Emmett. Maybe we could go this afternoon?"

Emmett nodded his head before telling him to turn his phone back on and wishing us a nice day. I got the feeling that Edward's lack of conversation made Emmett nervous. Maybe he was ashamed to be seen with me.

"I can go, if you are wanting to go with your friend," I told him, while watching him dig back into his food. He didn't reply as he chewed slowly, obviously lost in thought.

"Are you going to go to college?" he asked out of the blue.

"Ah, no, I hadn't planned to. Once I take my solemn vows, I will go to a monastery most likely on San Juan Island."

He stared at me intently. "What makes you so sure you want to do this?"

"Excuse me, Edward. What is wrong? Why are you questioning me like this?"

Taking another bite of his omelet, he then put down his fork and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Because I like you, and I don't want you to go. I don't want you to do this. I know it sounds crazy... I don't know you. I can't tell you what to do. I just know I have been unable to go a day without thinking of you since you came here. I am so angry at myself for waiting a year to get to know you. I just wonder how anyone could be so sure about what you want to do?" His arms stayed folded. He ran his tongue over his teeth while he awaited my answer.

I ran my fingers over the rosary around my neck as I tried to take in everything he'd just said.

"How can you decide such a thing when you haven't even lived your life yet? Are you scared? Unhappy? For that matter, have you ever had a boyfriend? Have you been in love? I mean, isn't that the cornerstone of living? To find someone to love? To start a family? Won't you miss those things?"

I shook my head lightly. "No, I haven't been any of those things. I'm not scared. Not everyone decides to live their life the way you choose. Just because it isn't popular doesn't mean it is wrong."

"Then please, make me understand why I should just walk away from you and let you do this, let you disappear from my life...I know I probably sound insane. You are right-I don't know you at all. All I know is I desperately want to know you."

"It's you who will be gone in a year. I still have to finish high school. Are you going to college?" I asked, no longer interested in my food.

"Yes, probably the University of Washington. Or Oxford. It just depends."

"Wow, Oxford. That's in England, right?" He nodded mutely.

"See, you have big plans, and they don't include me. Are you saying if we were to fall in love, you'd just stay here because I asked you to?" This conversation was bordering on amusing with a tinge of insanity, considering that neither of us knew the other well, nor owed the other anything.

"Really, Edward, how many teenaged romances last long enough to become anything serious? Hormones are the cause for kids our age thinking they are in love. They aren't. It's lust, which is a sin. You would do yourself a favor by pursuing your education. When you are older I am sure you will find a suitable woman, and the it will last."

He stared at me angrily before pushing his plate away from himself. "So I guess you know everything? Got it all figured out at the tender age of what? Sixteen?" He practically growled while saying my age. He grit his teeth, the muscles in his face tensing.

"Why does what I do bother you so much? Please don't be angry. Make me understand you?" I asked him, feeling out of my element.

"Because..." he said, wiping his fingers through his mess of hair.

"Because I believe in true love? I would hate to find out you're perfect for me, only to know I will lose you. The fact is, you aren't even going to have a chance to know if something might be a better choice for you. This bothers me. It should bother you."

Leaning forward he tented his hands in front of his face, staring at me intently.

"I want...I want to ask you to please just think about trying with me first. Just give me a chance to know you. I want to date you. I want you to be sure before you walk away. Please, Isabella, be my girlfriend? You can do that, right? It isn't too late? Surely, you can take a little time? Please, say you can?"

I put my face in my hands in frustration. I wanted to tell him I liked him too, that I had second thoughts about my decisions because of him, how it had tortured me. The only comfort had been knowing he wasn't interested in me. The dilemma he caused now by turning the tables... In my heart I knew that mostly what kept me to my vows was fear: fear I didn't want to discuss, fear I didn't understand, fear I didn't talk to anyone about. Fear that I wasn't worthy of love or passion.

Suddenly I felt his finger against my hands. I lifted my face as his hands grabbed mine. I stayed stone still, not moving as his lips touched my fingertips. The plea in his eyes was hopeful, caring, desperate.

"Yes, I can. I can decide to date right now," I told him, nervously. "It is always advised that if we are curious, then we must either move past it or explore it before making a final decision. I just...It won't change anything. In fact, it will only make it more complicated and will leave you, I'm sure, quite frustrated, because I'm not willing to be intimate or anything. Especially not at my age. So really, I'm sure you can see it isn't worth it."

He took my two hands in his, placing them together as if in prayer, rubbing them lightly.

"You are worth it, Isabella," he told me before taking one of my fingers and kissing it softly. His tongue snuck out to taste the pad of skin below my fingernail. I pulled back quickly as if being burned.

"Don't do that again," I implored him with a shy smile.

He chuckled lightly, nodding. He whispered, "I'm sorry," though I'm pretty sure he wasn't, and I was pretty sure becoming his girlfriend would mean I'd be bitten more than once with his playful seduction-of which I was only seeing the tip of the iceberg.

"Be mine?" he asked, laying a hand over his heart.

"I will," I told him, shivering in fright. I surely had no idea what I was getting into.

"Father, forgive me," I spoke aloud, leaving Edward with a pained expression on his beautiful face. He swallowed, before taking my hand and leading us to his car


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Notes: Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Not Edited

Broken Vows

By RobMyDream

Ch.4

Ghost Girlfriend

Isabella's POV

"I've decided to date a boy," I told him nervously. My elbows leaned on my knees, my eyes to the ground. I had to tell him right away, because this was huge for me. My father's approval or disapproval meant the world to me.

"Who, that Cullen kid?" Scratching my forehead, I sat up straighter looking my father in the eyes now.

"Yes, is that okay? I mean, we've never really had to have this conversation. Do you think it is a bad idea?" I asked, beyond nervous.

"Well, I suppose I'd come to think I'd never have this conversation with you Bella. I have to say I'm quite surprised, I didn't know you even knew him well."

"I don't really. I like him, and he likes me." My stomach twisted in knots, my feet bouncing against the carpet softly.

"Well, Bella I don't know if I want you dating at such a young age. In fact I am pretty sure I don't. You've always been very mature for your age. Then there is the fact that this isn't you. What about your vows?" he sat up straighter in his recliner, a look of confusion on his face.

"Yeah, I know. Your right, I'll go tell him I can't. I don't know what I was thinking." I started to get up from my chair, knowing the quicker I did this the better I would feel. I began searching the floor for my shoes.

"No, wait. Bella, hold on. Just give me a minute baby girl." I sat back down, taking a huge breath.

"You know when your mother, and I met I was fifteen."

"I know Dad."

"Well, we weren't allowed to date, and we still ended up together. There is a right time for everything. As you know though, we had a strained marriage. Now, I don't regret marrying her. I just wish I'd had more time to get to know her before hand. Maybe I'd have realized marriage wasn't for her. Then we had you, and that made me very happy. The point is we stayed together in an unhappy marriage because of our beliefs." I stayed still, quiet trying to understand what my father was saying to me. He wasn't telling me anything he hadn't said before.

"I'm just saying I understand If you are now curious about boys, and dating. What you might be giving up. I don't have a problem with you seeing him. I just know how boys can be. I'm not sure you haven't been a little too sheltered. I trust you completely, but I want you to know. If he isn't a perfect gentleman, if he pushes you to...Do anything you don't want to. I want to know."

"Okay. Does this mean you are okay with it then?" I asked, holding my stomach tightly. I felt the need to vomit, though I swallowed hard trying to bite down my fear. My father and I were clearly avoiding a topic we hadn't discussed with him ever. A topic that to this day made me want to throw up at the memory.

"You'll be seventeen soon. I trust you, just remember what your working towards. Okay baby?"

"Okay, daddy," I said, walking over to him to hug him. "I think I will turn in for bed early. Do you need anything?"

"No, go ahead. Just think about what I've said. God bless you Isabella, have good dreams."

"Hey, Izzie, my sweet girl. What do you want to do tonight?"

"Cartoons, and pizza uncle Jasper!" I danced around the floor in my favorite ballet shoes, and twirled. It was the usual Saturday night routine. Mom, and dad went out for dinner while my favorite uncle watched me for the night.

Uncle Jasper was my personal hero. Maybe my first little girl crush. He could do no wrong in my eyes. Though daddy constantly tried to get his brother to go to church. Jasper was sort of the rebel in the family.

After Jasper and I ate pizza, watching my favorite Scooby Doo cartoons, he'd always rock me to sleep, then put me in my little bed, with a kiss to my forehead. I'd quickly drift off into oblivion with a smile on my face.

Saturdays were my favorite because of him. Our religion was quite stifling for a child my age. When uncle Jasper came over it felt like we got to break the rules for a while. Have fun, dance, sing, just be uninhibited.

He'd just put me to bed an hour before, when I awoke to hear Jasper giggling in the living room. His laughter always made me so happy, so I decided to go investigate. Walking down the hallway, I smiled knowing I was going to surprise uncle Jasper. I peaked around the corner into the living room startled by what I saw.

"Shhh, you are going wake my niece." The lady writhed beneath him on the sofa, her clothes on a pile on the floor. He was biting at her breasts moaning while holding his hand over her mouth. His pelvis connecting with hers, as he slammed against her again, and again.

I was too stunned to watch, and yet too stunned to look away. "Ahh, Fuck! You feel so good baby," he whispered through gritted teeth. As the lady, mouth still covered by his hand, shook her head slowly back and fourth. Her eyes rolling into the back of her head, her chest heaving.

I dropped my teddy bear to the carpeted floor, and then I just screamed. Two faces stared over at me in horror. Cupping my hand over my mouth I turned to run for my bedroom slamming the door.

Never, in my life had I seen anything like that. I never even saw my own parents kiss, and hug. I wasn't allowed to watch television, I wasn't exposed to much of anything at all except private school, and our faith.

I hid under my covers crying. When a few minutes later uncle Jasper came to sit on my bed. "Isabella?" he questioned, his hand resting on my shoulder. I came out from under my covers, my face stained with tears. He winced a I looked up at him confused, scared, disgusted.

"Yes, uncle Jasper," I whispered softly.

"I'm sorry you saw that baby, um. We were just playing around,"

"But you hurt her? What were you doing to her?" I wasn't even sure I wanted to know, it didn't escape me that the odd aroma I smelt in the room when I saw them, was all over him now.

He sat on my bed in deep thought, worry lining his forehead. "Um, that was my girlfriend Tanya. We love each other, and...Shit..."

"You love her?" I asked, my brain replaying the scene. How could that be love? I knew uncle Jasper was different than most people I knew. I still loved him with all my heart, looked up to him, wanted to be like him. Caring, outgoing, strong, funny. Now, I just wanted him to move away from me, and leave me alone.

"Look Isabella, one day you'll understand about love. For now though your too young, and I am pretty sure your father wouldn't want me talking to you about it. So just know that I love her, and she isn't hurt. She was having fun. Okay?" he seemed to cringe after finishing his sentence. My eyes wide in horror.

"Okay uncle Jasper," he seemed appeased, as he tucked my blankets under me, giving me a small kiss on my cheek. "I love you Isabella," he said, before walking away, and turning off the light. My door clicked shut, as I scrambled from my bed to vomit in a trash can.

"He loved me? Oh, no..."

That night would haunt me for the rest of my life, and though I wasn't as sheltered now as a teenager. I chose to just ignore, what I didn't want to see. I made my decision that next Sunday. I'd run up to Sister Katherine who was always happy to see me hugging her tight.

"I want to be like you," I said to her desperately clinging to her habit tightly. She cradled me tightly, saying a low prayer against my head.

"That's wonderful child, now pray to God and he will answer your prayers." And I did, every night. I just knew that whatever love people shared, was not a love I wanted to know anything about. With my parents strained marriage, I couldn't imagine anything about it, that I would find fulfilling. I was disgusted by the mere idea of it all.

As I got older, I'd see couples shamelessly kissing on sidewalks. At school in dark corners, in cars. Boys who'd slide their tongues repugnantly into waiting girls mouths, grinding their hips into each other. I'd turn my head, feeling shame for them.

I wanted to talk to my father about what Jasper did, what I saw other people doing, but I couldn't. I was afraid, so that even though my father eventually slackened in his faith over the years, I only deepened mine.

I'd never seen Edward Cullen disrespect a woman. I'd never seen him be overtly sexual at school. I'd hear stories about his wild nights, wild parties, but I never saw or acknowledged that any of it was true. I suppose I was impartial because he was the first boy I'd ever felt attraction to. So I'd put him on a pedestal.

Regardless if any of it was true or not. I had come to accept that it was normal for boys to act this way. That hormones at our age caused us to do things we probably wouldn't even think of later in life. I wondered to God constantly why this was so. Why such a total act of violation to ones body was such a strong want, so early in our lives, let alone ever.

I vowed along time ago never to let that kind of evil consume me. Uncle Jasper never did come back to baby sit me after that night. I never saw him again. I missed him, but the vision of what he'd done to that girl was the catalyst for my decisions. I wanted to serve God, of that I had no doubt. Deep inside though I knew it was my fear of the unknown. My fear of something no one ever explained to me, or helped me to understand.

Now that I had unfamiliar feelings stirring deep inside my stomach, I worried that I would break my promise. I suddenly wondered if I had already been weak in accepting his offer to be my boyfriend so quickly. Why would he be interested in me? He could have anyone, I was sure of that.

Yet, when I was with him, sitting next to him. Talking to him, laughing with him. Time stood still, my breath became shaky, my mind went blank. His blue-green eyes would pull me to him, they were like a burning fire. A fire that was setting my heart aflame, and I just couldn't tell him no more than once.

In the middle of the night I rose from my bed, walking to my window. It was a clear night, and I stared up at the sky counting the stars over head. My room was dark, and so was his. I stared at it as if expecting flames to shoot up from it. Startled when he appeared in his room, the light flickering on. I stood to the side so as not to be seen. Watching him walk around, before disappearing, then appearing again.

Lately he'd been keeping his blinds open all the time. As he walked closer to his window, I saw him stare over at mine. As if trying to find me. Maybe he could tell I was there in the shadows just off to the side. Maybe he could hear my heart pounding, my blood boiling. He slowly unbuttoned his shirt, throwing it off to the side. My breath catching in my throat as I held tight to the sheer curtain.

I wanted to look away but as I caught sight of his exposed torso I couldn't. He was beautiful, sculpted like marble. His gaze on my window intent, and focused. I saw him throw a black v-neck t-shirt over his head, before laying his hands against the window frame. He slowly slid his window open, before walking over to turn off his bedroom light.

Coming back to the window he squinted. "Isabella, I can see you," he admitted in a loud whisper across the expanse. A smile forming on his lips, as my hand slid away from his view, away from the curtain I was gripping so tightly. "Come on sweetheart, talk to me," he whispered again.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Edited by MarchHare5

Broken Vows

By RobMyDream

Ch.5

Confession and His Kiss

Isabella's POV

By Sunday morning I was anxious as could be. I still hadn't properly spoken to Edward, and I was starting to feel really terrible about it. How much of a coward was I willing to be? He wasn't going to jump me, surely. I was reverent of his patience though; most of our hurried conversations took place at our windows at night before I went to bed.

This morning I went to church early, wanting to get my confession over with. I needed to talk to someone who understood; God surely would. I waited on a pew for the person who had entered the confessional ahead of me to finish. I was nervous, biting my nails to the nubs.

Once the person ahead of me came out, I ran inside, practically slamming the confessional door. The door between me and my confessor was still closed tightly. I got on my knees, praying fervently when the window opened signifying I was now ready to be listened to.

"What is your confession, my child?" a voice spoke in a soft whisper. I couldn't tell who it was today, and this made me feel slightly better. I didn't want to face anyone I knew with what I was going to say today.

"Father, forgive me. It has been a week since my last confession."

"You are forgiven. What would you like to confess?" At this rate I was going to become anorexic from the number of times I'd thrown up in the last week. This was all too much for my nerves. I stilled myself before taking a slow breath. "Child, are you there?"

"Yes, Father. I am thinking about a boy a lot. I told him I would date him. I'm scared. I forgot to pick my clothes off the bathroom floor." I rambled, not wanting to get to my point.

"And I took a vow of chastity, and I'm afraid I'm going to break it!" My voice raised at the end of my sentence.

"It is perfectly normal to think about those things, but you must pray about it, my child. God will lead you back in the right direction. Say three Hail Mary's and then make sure you talk with your guide. If that is all, you may go. God is with you."

I stayed silent, stunned by the coldness I felt. I quickly said my Hail Mary's, crossing myself before exiting the booth. Sadly, I didn't feel forgiven, nor did I feel better about my choices. The church was filling up now, and I searched for an open area close to the back of the church to sit. I didn't want to be social today; I had too much to think about. Plus, I needed to be close to the bathroom with my constant sour stomach.

Some minutes had gone by into the service with my not really paying proper attention when I felt a body hovering near me next to the pew where I sat. I looked up nervously, Bible in hand, as if God himself were standing there.

"May I sit next to you?" he asked with a shy smile. I swallowed hard, nodding, before scooting over a space to allow Edward to sit.

I was in shock. He stood there in a gray tailored suit, a green tie that matched his eyes, and shiny black shoes. His hair was in its usual chaos, but as if he'd placed each strand where he wanted it himself. I looked over at him as he sat, his eyes searing into mine, my mouth agape, when he spoke again. He nodded toward the front of the church before saying, "You better pay attention." I coughed nervously before looking forward. I could see him smile from the corner of my eye.

"You look so beautiful. I'm so proud to sit here next to you," he whispered softly, and before I could properly rein in my reaction to his boldness, his hand slipped into mine between us. He must have realized I'd pull away, as he quickly laced our fingers together, squeezing gently.

My heart began beating out of my chest, my mouth going dry. I tried to concentrate hard on what they were saying, but my ears rang as if they were filled with water.

"Isabella, slow your breathing down, sweetheart. It's just me," he spoke, but I needed to move. I needed to run, I needed to get to the bathroom, because now I was totally going to be sick.

I wrestled my hand from his, trampling on his shiny shoes, before ducking inside the bathroom at the side of the church. I didn't know if he moved or said anything. I breathed heavily over the toilet bowl, water forming in my mouth, my neck convulsing with the need to get rid of what little breakfast I had this morning.

When I finally came out, service was ending, and everyone was filtering out of the church. Thankfully, Edward didn't seem to have lingered. I felt terrible once again, but I couldn't seem to rein in my fear. I wasn't really afraid of him, per se, more of what I didn't know or understand. The biggest fear was that I'd made this huge commitment, this enormous thing that I had held tightly to for so many years.

I was afraid that giving up on it meant I was weak, that all my sacrifices were for nothing, that I was so easily able to walk away from the most important thing in my life-for a boy. I talked to a few people briefly before making an appointment with my counselor, then walked outside to leave. I just wanted to have a nice walk home and maybe take a nap.

My trepidation was well warranted, as I saw Edward leaning against his car, jacket draped over his arm as he studied his nails. His gaze immediately found mine from the distance. He smiled, and I swear a halo formed above his head. His pointer finger beckoned me to come to him. I did.

I chewed my lip furiously as I came to him. He threw his jacket through the opened window of his car and crossed his arms over his chest. "You okay?" he asked with concern on his face.

"Yes. I'm sorry, Edward," I said, folding my hands in front of me and feeling foolish.

"I didn't mean to scare you today-it's just really hard to have a relationship with someone who isn't there." I cringed at his comment, knowing he was right. It didn't make sense for me to say I would try if I wasn't really going to try. "Besides, today is my birthday," he said as I looked up slowly in shock.

"Oh, I didn't know. Happy birthday, Edward!" I said, and without thought I wrapped my arms around his body to hug him. I stepped back quickly when he didn't return the embrace right away, but his hand quickly caught my arm as I retreated. He stared down at me with a smile.

"So, we go from nothing to a hug?" he asked. I blushed, and he chuckled. Before I knew it he had pulled me back against him, his hands gently caressing my shoulder blades.

I pushed away from him quickly, looking around, hoping no one saw. I mean, everyone knew I took the vow; everyone here knew what I was going to do. It would look most scandalous to be found in the arms of a boy at this point. "Please, Edward. Not here."

"Ashamed of me already?" he asked. That hurt my heart. I held my hand to it gently, trying to show him my apology.

"No, of course not. It's just everyone here knows about what I'm going to do. It would look..."

"Shh, I understand. It's okay. Come on, let me take you somewhere quiet so we can talk, alright?" I surveyed the church parking lot one more time before agreeing.

We were mostly silent in his car, though he whistled a little. He started to turn on the radio, before looking over at me and deciding against it.

"I didn't think you went to church?" I asked him as he led me down the path of a trail in a nearby park.

"I used to with my family. I don't anymore."

"Catholic?" I asked.

"No. Lutheran."

"Oh. Why don't you go anymore?"

"Because people are hypocrites, and God gave me my own mind to think with." I winced at his words. I'd never seen someone so self-possessed.

"So you don't believe?"

"Sure I do. I just don't need a set of laws tampered with by man to guide me. We are all good in our hearts, Isabella. You don't need anyone to tell you what is right. I believe God created us imperfect and knows we will never be perfect. He just wants us to live and be thankful for what He has given us. I am."

I giggled. "You sound so old," I kidded him softly.

"Old?" he asked with his eyebrows raised.

"Yeah, everyone says that about me. That I am too philosophical, that I sound like I am older when I speak."

"Well, the difference is I know how to be young and enjoy life. I wish you could be that way too." He grabbed my hand again, and I let him take it, a hum of electricity running between us.

We found a picnic bench in a clearing surrounded by trees and bushes, the shade perfect in the warm afternoon that slowly approached. Our hands still linked, we sat side by side, my eyes wide in admiration for him. He scooted near me so that our hips touched, and I let go of his hand, stiffening.

I tried to get up nonchalantly, stretching my back and looking around at the beautiful foliage. He snickered behind me. Without looking at him, I walked around the picnic table to the other side, sitting across from him, my hands laid out in front of me on the table. I stared at my fingers a little too thoroughly as I heard him stand, then sit down facing me on his side.

"Are you afraid of me, Isabella? Do you really imagine I'm going to attack you?"

I looked up at him watching me intently, his expression carefully guarded. "No," I replied softly.

"Then what is it? It's more than just your commitment to God. What are you afraid I'll do?"

His long arms reached across the table as he leaned forward. He kept them carefully laid next to mine, but not quite touching, the heat from his skin warming mine.

"I'm afraid you'll love me," I said, my voice breaking with each word.

"And what do you imagine would happen if I loved you?" His fingers now swept feather- light down my arms, causing goose bumps to form on my heated skin.

"What if I already do?" he whispered under his breath. My eyes widened and locked with his green ones.

"You-you can't. You don't know me. You can't love me. No one can." He looked pained, but not deterred.

"You can't tell people what to feel, Isabella. I want to know you, but you won't let me. From what I do know, I do have feelings for you. Love doesn't always start after you know someone. Often it happens when you see someone for the first time. You can't understand it then, until it grows. We sense it, though, in our hearts. We feel it in our souls. We connect oftentimes before a word is spoken. I feel that with you; I felt it the first day I saw you. I know we are young, but we aren't exempt from love's mysterious ways."

The beauty of his words touched me. My body quivered as I closed my eyes, still focusing on his fingers against my forearms. They trailed slowly past my elbows before carefully holding my biceps, his thumbs pressing softly into my flesh. My breath was shaky. I could feel warmth in front of my face, and I knew. He was going to do it. He was going to do it, and I couldn't even think the words. I couldn't vocalize them or imagine them in my head. Or I would run. I didn't want to run from him.

"Please, don't run," he whispered close to my lips as if he could sense my fear. I took a calming breath, trying to calm my frazzled nerves. His tongue reached out to wet my lips, and my eyes opened a crack, focusing on his red mouth before he inched forward, placing his against mine. His taste was that of a fruit I'd never tasted as our mouths placed a series of sweet pecks against the other. His scent overwhelmed my nostrils. All too soon, his warmth left me, and I opened my eyes to see his guarded smile, our hands unknowingly now intertwined between us.

"That okay?" he asked hoarsely.

"Yes," I returned. I gripped his hands tighter, wanting more.

~EB~

Edward's POV

That kiss, oh my god. It left me stunned the whole day-I mean, the whole day long. It wasn't even a full kiss, and I wanted more. I took Isabella home with the promise that she would come over tonight to hang out. She was scared to death, but thankfully agreed. I promised we'd do whatever she wanted, whatever made her comfortable.

My parents had been gone the whole weekend, and being that I am their only child, if they were gone, I was often alone. Sometimes I might have a small party for friends, but I had already decided this summer was about us.

There was so much I wanted to show her. I didn't want her to be afraid of me. Her fear only made me more protective, though. I wanted to be the one to guide her, and I wanted desperately to love this girl.

She seemed so alone and isolated. Once she let herself relax, though, she could be so sweet, so funny, so unknowingly sexy. She was a very modest dresser compared to most girls I knew. Yet with her it only made me revere her more. She was like a gift I could open painfully slowly and never worry I'd be disappointed.

She came over that evening around four p.m., surprising me because I figured I'd have to go to her house and drag her out. She was dressed in sweatpants, a long sleeved t-shirt, and thick socks, with Birkenstock shoes. She made me feel hot just looking at her, and it had nothing to do with hormones.

"Isabella, it's eighty-eight degrees. Are you even comfortable in that?" I asked, leading her inside to show her around my house. She giggled, a sheen of perspiration noticeable on her forehead. I was running around in a pair of shorts, bare feet and a old torn up t- shirt with more holes in it than material.

"I'm fine," she said, gushing when I took her small hand in mine. I led her around, showing her the place, trying to make her laugh, and above all feel comfortable and young, as she should.

I sat her in the living room, putting on some low classical music, before going into the kitchen for ice cold lemonades and some cherry pie my mother had made earlier. She seemed delighted by the refreshments as I turned on the air conditioner next to the window we were sitting by.

"Thank you, Edward. This is so much fun," she exhaled after a long drink of lemonade. I sat next to her, playing with her fingers in my hand, just enjoying her happiness.

I chuckled to myself at the thought that this for her was "so much fun." It was cool, though, seeing everything new through her eyes.

"Do you always bring your girlfriends home when your parents aren't here?" she asked, scooping a big cherry off her plate and sucking it between her lips. I almost died right there.

"I haven't had a girlfriend in a while, but no, I guess I haven't really brought any home." I brought her hand up to kiss it, making her stop mid-bite to suck in a deep breath. She was so sensitive and elated by every touch; it was so exciting.

"So how old are you today?" she asked, gently pulling her hand away from mine and staring at the place I kissed as if some mark had been left behind.

"Eighteen. I started school late."

"Oh," she said, then nodded before reoffering her hand to me. I wanted so badly to laugh, but held it in as I took her offering. "Your mother is a great cook. Please thank her for me," she told me, wiping the corners of her mouth on a napkin, then turning to face me with her knee propped up on the couch.

"What do you want to do now?" I asked, so I could get a feel for what she liked. She looked lost in thought when I asked it.

"Sitting here is fine," she mused, nodding with a far off expression.

"Oh, you like sitting, do you?" I chided, and she smiled that smile I was beginning to covet much too much. "When do you turn seventeen?" I asked, once again playing with her small fingers, caressing her palm with my thumb. She seemed to melt and completely lose thought at this.

"September thirteenth," she replied, smiling.

"And when is it...you have to go away?"

She looked confused before realizing I was referring to her commitment when she'd leave to live in a monastery. I couldn't help but dread it already, just as I had the first time I got the nerve to ask her out and discovered her plans. It was like fate was being cruel, tempting me with her and then taking her away. Of course If I had my way I'd never let it happen. She belonged with me; she was making the wrong choice. I thought I was here to show her that. I didn't know why really, but I just did.

Maybe I am just being selfish

, the thought crossed my mind fleetingly.

"Should I go home now?" she suddenly asked. I stared over at the grandfather clock, noting the time of five pm.

"Do you already want to go?" I asked.

"I'm sorry. I just don't know how to do this. I feel so inadequate."

"It's hard for me too, Bella. I don't want to do anything that will push you away. I just want to spend time with you. You can leave whenever you want to. I hope you will stay longer though. What do you like to do when you are by yourself?"

"I like to read," she replied, gazing at the bookshelf above our heads, filled with my mother's favorite books.

"Go ahead. Pick one," I urged her. She sat up on her knees, carefully fingering the titles. Carefully she pulled one from the row, gently setting back on the couch to open it against her lap. She looked up at me tentatively.

"Are-are you gonna read too?"

"Can I read with you?" I asked, scooting closer to her side. She gazed up at me as our hips touched and brought her hand up to my chin, barely running the pad of her finger over it.

"Yes," she spoke, continuing to touch my stubble.

My lips reached out to kiss her hand before she pulled it slowly away. I placed my arm carefully around her shoulders, leaning my cheek gently against hers as she opened the book.

"Will you read aloud so I can keep up with you?" I asked, as she stayed somewhat stiff next to me. She nodded, turning to the front page.

I listened to her voice glide reverently over the words, each syllable gliding from her lips. My eyes closed as she read, and I felt really content for the first time in my life. This was

precious; this was so different from anything I'd ever had with anyone. It was new and special, not rushed or awkward, at least not for me. Every second she allowed me to be near her was like a gift. I was lost in her scent, not even noticing the words she was saying anymore when I was quickly brought back to the living.

"He grabbed her by her hair, immediately thrusting his aching cock..." Crickets were chirping at this point as my eyes opened slowly. Isabella stared down at the words on the page like she was amazed they were written there. I grabbed it from her hands quickly, checking the cover to see it was one of Mom's Harlequin Romances. Crap, that went to hell in a hand basket.

"Whoops, guess Mom has some books up there that shouldn't be out for guests to read." I tried to make light of it as she just sat there.

"Dear God, I am so sheltered," she breathed, holding onto her heart. "I-I didn't even know such stuff was written. You must think I am an imbecile."

"Isabella, surely you know in this world that if man can think it, he will come up with it, make it, and sell it. You aren't an imbecile. You are a sweet girl with other, more important things on her mind. Don't put yourself down."

"Let me ask you something?" I requested before sitting back down next to her.

She waited patiently for me to continue. "Do you want this with me? I mean, really, is being close to me something you really want?"

"Yes, I do, Edward."

"Then I am going to ask you one favor. Trust me. I would never think of hurting you. Try to relax and enjoy our time together. Don't you think God wants you to be happy, no matter what you decide? Don't you think he understands you might not really know what you want? You have the right to sample the buffet before you choose a main dish."

"I'm trying, Edward. I'm just really nervous and scared I'll go too far. You are so...lovely, so enticing. I am not used to feeling this way. I don't want God to be angry with me."

I put my arms around her tightly. "How could He ever be angry at you, sweetheart? Come on, put your arms around me. I need a hug about now."

She giggled softly and placed her arms around my waist. I relished in the feel of her around me, deeply inhaling her scent at her neck. This was going to be the most difficult, and yet most rewarding, relationship of my life. Of that I was sure.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Edited by MarchHare5

Broken Vows

By RobMyDream

Ch.6

The Burn and Deliverance

Edward's POV

I awoke in the middle of night. It was the first of July, and the heat was driving me crazy. My parents decided that we would be going on vacation for a couple of weeks, and I wasn't really happy about it. Isabella was just starting to calm down a little. She was more comfortable around me, and though I probably shouldn't profess such a thing at my age, I believed I was in love with her. I mean really in love.

It tortured me, the thought of her going away, never to be seen again. I had nothing against religion, but what kind of life was that? She was more than just a pretty girl to me, and that was a big deal. At first I had to admit the thought of tempting the good girl of my high school was my first intention. I figured it would have been too easy.

Then the more I watched her from a distance, I understood for the first time that there was nothing easy about this girl. She was delicate and untouched by jaded thoughts. Her actions were always a little too calculated, like putting a foot out of line would be the end of her.

I was all intent on helping her see that she could loosen up and have some fun. Of course that was until I met her. I could have never predicted in a million years a situation like ours. I was just slightly overjoyed that they wanted her to go to college before entering into the life she was choosing. Regardless of why she was choosing this life, I knew a great deal of her decision came from being scared.

Being scared should never be a reason to make any decision, especially one that would affect the rest of your life. I was becoming fiercely protective of her. She was changing

me, and instead of being a horny teenaged boy, I felt like a man who fully understood what he had, and could have if he just remained patient. While I knew the foreign emotion floating around in my heart was love based, I was still enraptured by her so much that she filled my dreams at night.

In my head she was a seductive, shy beauty, all for me. For whatever reasons, she was in my life to change me, just as much as I was here to change her. Of course it was hard not to want to touch her constantly. She was getting more comfortable with that too. It was a joy to hold her hand, or kiss her cheek softly, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want more.

The day before I asked my parents if it would be okay for Isabella to come on vacation with us. I'd wager to say she'd never been on vacation. When I told Isabella about my plan she was actually excited and smiling like she'd won the lottery. She wasn't sure how her dad would react though.

So I immediately asked him; to my surprise he immediately thought it was a great idea. I was given a stern warning to look after his precious daughter-like I needed one. Then Isabella and I went up to her room to talk about our plans.

My parents had ocean front property in Miami. We often stayed there when we could, and I'd never brought a friend. There were always plenty of girls hanging out on the beach to get with. Nothing serious, just a bit of groping and kissing, walking on the beach hand in hand, a few volleyball games with some guys who lived down the beach from us, bonfires at night, cookouts, just relaxing and being young.

I wanted her to experience all of that.

Once we were up in her room, I asked her if she had a bathing suit or if we should go buy one. The look on her face was priceless. "I don't need to swim. I don't even know how."

"You can't swim? I will be teaching you then. It's important to know how to swim." I sat next to her on her bed, and she scooted about a foot away from me, staring at her hands.

"What?" I asked, confused.

I don't know what came over me, as I brought a finger over to tickle her rib cage over her shirt. She squirmed, and her mouth opened wide. A lovely shade of red painted her cheeks, and she immediately got up. She walked over to her window, opening it wider and poking her head out.

"It's hot today," she announced, and I laughed.

"What?" she asked, turning around. I walked over to her, taking in her dark dress pants, long-sleeved shirt up to her neckline, and her socks. I grabbed her gently around the waist and stood waiting for her to say something.

Her body trembled. "What's the matter, sweetheart?" I asked, not feeling like giving her distance today. She had to get over this thought that I was going to jump her every second.

"I-I can't wear a bathing suit. It just invites attention!" she told me, steadying her hands against my bare forearms.

"What's wrong with people admiring you?" I asked her, giving her a smile. I put my finger under her chin to lift her gaze to mine.

She grinned slightly. "God gave you a beautiful body, Isabella. There is nothing wrong with being comfortable in your own skin. It shouldn't be hidden away like it's shameful.

"Do you trust me?" I asked, getting immediately to my knees before her. I stared up at her blushing form admiringly.

Her eyes widened in shock, but she nodded her response all the same. What I was about to do might get me thrown out the window, but I was willing to take the risk. Sliding my hands from her hips, I tenderly lifted the hem of her shirt. She kept her gaze locked on me, and my eyes never left hers.

Exposing her navel, I kept my hands on her sides, her skin silky beneath my touch, her flat stomach so inviting. As I gazed at barely six inches of her adorable body, I was more than turned on. She started breathing deeply, her diaphragm shaky. Her hands now hung limply at her sides, her fists balled up tightly.

The first touch of my lips landed softly above her left hip. At my touch her abdomen pulled in tightly, then relaxed. When I looked up to check in with her, her eyes were shut tightly, her lips parted, her breathing heavy. "So beautiful, Isabella," I told her with love.

I continued to spread warm kisses across her abs, ignoring her navel. Then, just when I thought she couldn't take anymore, I landed a wet kiss there on her belly button. Unable to resist a taste, my tongue darted out, exploring the intricate pattern of wrinkled skin there. I had to hold back a laugh as her hands gripped into my hair suddenly.

"Edwwaard?" she whined, as her tiny hands got a firm hold onto my hair.

"Doesn't that feel nice?" I asked, hoping she wasn't mortified beyond all reason. Though when I looked up to her, her eyes opened before she nodded, a small smile lifting up the corners of her mouth. "So you can't possibly say you are going to the beach with me, all covered up, are you?"

"But others will see me too," she said as I stood up to hug her. Her arms slid around my waist. Nothing felt as good as when she gave in and held me.

"Baby, they can look all they want. You shouldn't sacrifice your comfort because of other people. I will protect you, I promise, but I really want you to enjoy yourself." I pulled her back toward her bed, and we sat, this time closer, and I was just enjoying being with her. I lay back with my arms above my head, smiling, as she once again gave me her "shocked" look.

"What?" I asked, before realizing her eyes were glued to my hardness strained against my shorts. "I'm sorry, baby," I said, sitting up at once and trying to rearrange the bulge. She swallowed noticeably when I took her hand in mine.

"Why is it doing that?" she asked, and I really wanted to laugh. Surely she knew why, but her nervousness was shutting off the ability to reason.

"Honestly?" I asked, snuggling my face into her neck and placing a tender kiss there.

I could feel her swallow repeatedly against my lips. She nodded once before I continued. I turned her face to me, an inch apart before I spoke. I wanted to say because I wanted her, because of course I did, but I was positive that was the wrong way to explain this to her.

"Because I have feelings for you, and my body is reacting to you. It isn't anything to be afraid of, honey," I tried to reassure her. "It's natural..." I trailed off as she remained rather closed off. She licked her lips while staring at my mouth. Her pupils dilated, and her breathing just tickling my face.

"Oh, God. I love you, Edward," she spoke softly, bringing a smile to my face. I grabbed her hand and brought it to my chest just over my heart.

"Do you feel that?" I asked, and she nodded. "So much love for you, baby, all for you."

I began unbuttoning my shirt; I just needed her to touch me. It didn't matter where, but I wanted her to touch my chest the most right now. She watched my fingers amble over each button, then I moved her hand to the center of my chest. Her warm skin melted against mine.

Boldly, she brought her other hand up ever so slowly, moving each side of my shirt just over my shoulders and away from obstructing her view. Her fingers soon running a feather light trail through the hair there. It caused a shiver in my skin, and I closed my eyes briefly, trying to steady my breath.

This was too amazing to behold. Every touch of her fingers caused my brain to lose touch with coherent thoughts. I closed my eyes again, feeling and memorizing the feel of her, when I was startled by a tiny kiss over my nipple. My hand quickly found the back of her head, and it took all my strength not to hold her there more firmly. "Baby..." I moaned.

"Isabella! Edward! I have lunch ready if you two want to eat."

"Ah, okay, Daddy," she yelled back in reply, sitting upright and folding her arms over her chest. Her skin was a beautiful, heated shade of pink, perspiration delicately beaded across her upper lip and forehead. Without looking my way she found each side of my shirt and closed up the show of skin beneath.

I chuckled softly, watching her try to calm her breathing. "You okay?" I asked.

"I shouldn't have done that, I'm..."

"Don't you dare apologize for that, Isabella. It was wonderful. There are no regrets between us. Do you understand?" She remained quiet when I got to my knees in front of her. I spread her knees wide and snuggled between them, snaking my arms around her waist. I laid my head against her stomach, hugging her tightly. I would not have her feeling guilty about this.

It was normal to want each other, to explore. I wanted to turn off her inner conflict and remind her that living was what we were made for-though I often feared that I was wrong for feeling that way when I was with her.

Once we finally got ourselves together to go downstairs for lunch, Isabella was abnormally interested in her plated sandwich and didn't pay her father much attention, speaking into her plate when asked a question. Charlie kept glancing back and forth between us with odd expressions.

Once we finished, I was trying to get her to talk while I helped her wash the few dishes from lunch, when Charlie came in and asked to speak with me privately. Inside his office he offered me a chair and then sat thoughtfully at his desk.

"Edward. I'm just going to be straight with you. That girl in there is very important to me obviously, but as I'm sure you know, she isn't like all those girls you see around the town."

I nodded, affirming that I understood. "What intentions do you have with her? Don't get me wrong; if Isabella trusts you, I do, or I wouldn't even think about sending her off on vacation with you. I know your family; they have always been very respectable. I also know what it is like to be a young guy. So let me know, son. What do you see happening with her?"

I coughed and stretched my neck, trying to buy time as I thought about what she meant to me. In the end I didn't need the time, because I knew she was everything. "I want to be with her all the time. She makes me very happy. I enjoy her gentleness, her warmth, her laugh. You're right; she is nothing like any girl I've ever met. She is perfect. I want everything good for her. I just want her to...be sure before she makes a huge decision. I need her," I added hoarsely, my voice going up an octave at the end.

He smiled gently, which actually surprised me since I was being quite bold. "I understand how you feel, Edward. She is so much like her mother, though we had very different circumstances. The facts are she has made her decision already, and she doesn't need the pressure of a meaningless teenaged tryst getting her hopes up for something she doesn't really understand or want."

I was becoming angry now, but I knew this wasn't going to help my situation. I had to be strong and most of all mature about it. "But she should understand, and how do you know she doesn't want this? How do you know deep in her heart she couldn't be just as happy falling in love and being with me forever?"

"Forever, huh?" he asked, his eyes narrowed at me, as if trying to read the truth in my eyes. "Is that what you see with her? Forever?"

"Yes. Of course, she's changed me. She's made me want things like forever. We are young, I know, but trust me, sir. I would never do anything to hurt her. I just want- selfishly, I suppose-to be the one who loves her, protects her, and makes her realize there is more than what she is expecting, and that it isn't bad if she chooses to be with me instead."

"And when it doesn't work? What then? It won't be easy to go back to being a nun, to making her commitment, if things don't work between you. This is very important to her, Edward. You are young, and too young to know what forever will be like. I won't tell you that you have to stay with her no matter what if she chooses you. However, you need to remember, sometimes loving someone means letting them go."

"Sir, I understand everything you are saying. I'm not just thinking of me here. I know she wants this. She is afraid, but I am the last man on earth who would hurt her, or allow her to be hurt."

"Edward, look, I can see she cares about you. She talks about you constantly. I see the look in her eyes when she sees you. I've been there myself. I'm not saying she shouldn't chose you; I'm saying that this decision of hers didn't just come overnight. It is important to her, and if she does choose you over it, I will be happy for you both. Because I too want her to have whatever makes her happy. I won't suppress her natural desires for love. My family was deeply religious, and I spent my life feeling like everything I did was because I had to, not because it was what I really wanted. Just let her make the decision without pushing her. That is all I ask."

"I'll try, but I'm so afraid to lose her. Charlie...sir, I love your daughter. You don't have to believe me. I will prove that in time. Just please know that you never ever have to worry about me hurting her or forcing her to do anything she doesn't want."

"That's good to know, Edward. I do trust you. Just take care of her, alright? I know she is scared; she can't ever seem to talk about it. How much you know about her Uncle Jasper?"

"Never mentioned him. Who is he?"

"He hasn't been around in years. My brother used to be Isabella's hero. He'd often watch her for my wife and I when she was a child. She caught him and his girlfriend on our couch one night. Said she was pretty shaken up. They were, ah, you know, having sex." I nodded, already understanding where this was going.

"Anyway, Isabella was never the same. I asked my brother at the time never to return when he admitted it when we got home that night. It killed him to walk away from her. I hear from him now and then, but it wasn't till recently that I realized that possibly he is the reason for a lot of her fear and her decisions. Regardless though, the life she is choosing isn't anything to be ashamed of. It's quite honorable."

"Honorable, sure, but have you discussed these fears with her?"

Charlie coughed lightly before looking past me to the door. I turned to see Isabella standing there. "Will you be much longer, Daddy? Edward was going to take me shopping for our vacation," she asked, smiling sweetly over at me.

"Ah, no, baby. Not much longer," he said, smiling back at his daughter lovingly, a sadness filling his expression. She closed the door, and he finally turned back at me. "I've made mistakes with her. It isn't easy for me to talk about such things. The last thing I want is to lose my daughter, only being able to see her a few times a year. It will break my heart, but it is just as frightening sending her off with a boy to have her heart manipulated."

"Never!" I spoke quickly. "I would never ever hurt her!"

He seemed to lose himself in thought before standing up and extending his hand to me. We shook, and he came around to pull me into a hug. "Welcome, son. Welcome."


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Notes:

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Edited by MarchHare5

Broken Vows

By RobMyDreamz88;

Ch.7

The End of the Beginning

Isabella's POV

Knocking lightly on Edward's front door, I waited patiently. I had woken up at three a.m., unable to sleep, so I repacked my bag and gave Daddy a kiss goodbye, at which he reminded me that if I was at all uncomfortable or wanted to come home from vacation to just call, and he'd fly me back immediately. This gave me some level of comfort.

As scared as I felt, wanting to be with Edward won out above all else. I had a nice dinner last night with him and his parents, who were all too enthusiastic about my coming with them. They seemed so relaxed and fun compared to Charlie, who was mostly serious and somewhat calculated.

Finally, when the front door opened an inch, a disheveled Edward stood peeking through the door. "Isabella? Sweetie, what are you doing here? We don't leave for four hours." He squinted at me as he eyed me and the suit case I had dragged over on its tiny wheels. When I didn't reply, he smiled. "You excited to go?"

I nodded shyly, noting my watch which read four fifteen. "Sorry. I know it's early. I couldn't go to sleep. I don't know why I thought you'd be awake," I told him, realizing my actions were a little strange. I just knew I was ready to go see him; the thought of spending two weeks with him outside of my usual routine was exciting.

I really needed to get out more.

"I wasn't, but I was dreaming of you, so this is much better," he said, opening the door wider and pulling me inside. The door barely had time to close when he embraced me

tightly. He was wearing nothing but a pair of black boxers, and his disheveled hair was a sight to see. I squirmed slightly against his naked chest. "Stop. Your parents," I whispered loudly, causing Edward to turn around quickly.

When he saw the coast was clear, he led me through the dimly lit house upstairs to his room before I could even think about what he was doing. He pulled me inside his bedroom and closed the door, locking it. "You have a lock?" I asked as I stared back at it.

"Ah. Yes. Always have," he said, throwing a white v-neck t-shirt over his head and beckoning me with a crooked finger.

"I-I left my suitcase downstairs," I said, trying to turn the door handle unsuccessfully. I had been up to his room a few times, but the door was always open. That inevitable fear of the unknown crept into my conscience. Before I could properly think to turn the lock as well, he was at my back, breathing down my neck. His hands crept around to my belly, pulling me with him.

He lifted me up in one graceful swoop before plopping me on his bed soundly. I lay on his pillow stiffly as he remained serious about pulling the covers up over us as his body slid in next to mine. He leaned on his side, looking down at me, his eyebrows wagging suggestively. "Never thought I'd get you here this easily," he said, smiling.

"Oh, God," I said, trying to wiggle myself free of the covers. He stopped my hands with his, pulling them in a halo over my head, his thumbs gently caressing my wrists. His face hovered above mine in a playful smirk.

"Edward, don't," I pleaded with him, knowing he could easily overpower me. Of course I trusted him, but it didn't take much for me to lose my cool when he was like this. Instead of complying with me, he smiled, rubbing his nose against mine.

"Shhh," he said, before placing his lips gently against mine. "I will never hurt you." His lips continued to place sweet kisses against my lips. My whole body felt like there were no bones or muscles as my flesh melted into his embrace. The overwhelming scent of his unique smell sent my eyes closed in a dizzy haze.

When Edward released my hands, I put them around his neck. "I love you," I said breathlessly, "but I shouldn't be here in your bed, and my shoes are still on," I said before boldly kissing his mouth.

He laughed before diving down under the covers to remove them. To say this little act didn't have me flustered would have been a bold-faced lie. I watched his form under the covers and felt his hands find my feet, releasing the bows on my shoes and sliding them off to shove them down the end of the bed where they fell onto his carpet. He chuckled before pulling my socks off and kissing my feet.

He was the master of avoiding my insecurities by pretending they weren't there. He came back up with his beautiful grin, snuggled next to me, and turned off the lamp by his bed. "Let's get some more sleep before we fly out," he said, holding my body against his chest, my face smooshed into the crook of his neck. A light kiss to my hair sent my eyes closed from exhaustion.

~E&B~

When we woke up I expected Edward's parents to question why I was there, but I never expected what happened. Edward woke me with kisses on my cheeks, and his hands were drifting lower down to my bottom when I sat up, startled. I could hear footsteps in the hallway.

"Edward, sweetheart, you and Isabella be ready to go in twenty, okay?"

"Okay, Mom, we will," he said, still torching my skin with hot kisses. "Mmm, I'm so glad you stayed," he said, rubbing small circles just above my ass. I reached back and took his hand in mine, dragging it between us.

"Are you trying to kill me?" I asked, smiling.

"No," he laughed, while getting up out of bed and stretching.

"Will your mother be mad I stayed in your room?" I asked, but I already knew his parents were nothing like mine or any others I'd met. They were downright lenient with Edward. They loved him dearly, but they believed he was an adult and should be treated like one. They trusted him.

"No," he said, pursing his lips and shaking his head. "I'm going to get ready. You can change in here if you want, or in the bathroom down the hall." He kissed me tenderly before walking to his private bathroom.

As much as it was instinct for me to fear intimacy with Edward, it was equally as hard not to want it. I'd made being intimate with a boy, let alone a man, such a taboo thing since I was a child, I couldn't imagine that it would ever be something I'd be interested in. Sometimes I even felt bad knowing Edward was more experienced in these things, and knowing he wanted more.

He was constantly pushing me just a bit, a little more than last time, always assuring me that ultimately I had the control. He begged me to think about having a life with him when I pondered the life I had chosen, to never let one decision be the be-all end-all if something else seemed to mean more.

I would usually laugh at him, embarrassed by these conversations. I mean, we were kids, weren't we? Why would we even be talking about forever? Then he tossed the question back at me, reminding me that what I was choosing would mean forever-without him. For

the life of me I couldn't understand why that made my heart ache and my stomach queasy.

When Edward came out of his room I was already dressed and straightened his bed before kneeling before it to pray. I tried to ignore him and finish because I didn't want to hide my religion from him. I wanted him to see I was serious, that this wasn't embarrassing for me. He was the main focus of my prayers since becoming his girlfriend, and sadly I was finding very little comfort or answers.

I begged God to help me see the right path. Being with Edward didn't feel as wrong as it did confusing. I wanted to see what could be, but I was terrified because I'd never allowed myself to think of having a relationship. I'd watched others in school flaunt their relationships with openly kissing and touching. I'd simply turned my head, finding a different path to take.

The feelings he was awakening in me didn't feel wrong, they just felt plain foreign. I didn't want to be afraid of this. I didn't want to see his pained face if I pushed him away. Sometimes I just wanted to initiate contact with him, holding him gently, and ask for his vow to be always mine. These feelings terrified me.

The church got wind of Edward and me being together rather quickly. I should have known it would; you don't go from being practically a saint to blushing because a boy is holding your hand. I was asked by Father Michael to speak to them the weekend before, and they actually were already questioning my decision.

"You are quite young, Isabella. We are just worried you may be letting temptation play a part in your decision to be with that boy. Is he Catholic?" I shook my head lightly.

Sister Melody gave me a sympathetic look as she sat close to me, rubbing my back. "Ultimately the choice will always be yours. God will love you no matter what you decide, Isabella. Just remember sometimes we feel things in this world-well, that are quite temporary, and can never be as exciting as being of service to our Lord." Father Michael brought his hands together and took a deep breath.

If I didn't know better I'd say he was nervous, maybe more than I was. "I guess what we are trying to say is that maybe you should take much more time to think about things. In my opinion, and the opinion of our Lord, of course," he said, chuckling lightly and crossing himself, "you may not be suitable for the life you want. And-and that's okay, Isabella. That is just fine. You cannot enter this with doubts, as you know."

"I-I love Edward. Father, I do. I know that I took this vow, and I had-have every intention of following through. I guess...I just feel that maybe he is right, and I could be missing out if I don't give us a chance."

"Don't you see, dear, just the fact that you doubt this now, only a year after your vows...It may be a sign that this is the wrong life for you to choose. There are many ways to

remain in service, but honestly, Isabella, I think this is the wrong choice for you. I will pray for you about it, and while you're away, please, be with God, seek Him for guidance, and don't be afraid to change your mind if you heart tells you so. We will always embrace you here." Sister Melody hugged me tightly, smiling.

"God bless you, child, and have a lovely vacation."

"I will, thank you."

It was the most intense, one-sided conversation I'd ever had. It was never good when the hierarchy of the church called you in for a private meeting. They even wanted Charlie there, but I told them he was busy, which was a lie.

Basically they were telling me I'd already failed to show that I had a true calling. If they doubted me, I'd never make it to my final vows. Walking away from the church that Sunday afternoon, I saw Edward a distance away in the parking lot, waiting for me with a glorious smile. The sun was beaming behind him against the tree line. I laughed as I imagined it was a sign from above, a huge halo of light engulfing his gorgeous, shining form.

All my worry and regret was immediately discarded. I felt warm, happy, free, and most importantly...in love.

"So, what was that about?" he asked while driving us home.

I looked over to him, smiling, though I really wanted to cry out of fear and, most importantly, failure, though I knew this wasn't about winning anything. It was hard to think that I was possibly wrong about what I thought was my destiny.

"Oh, nothing," I lied, for the second time that day.

As I looked up from my prayers, Edward was sitting on his bed, watching me. I hadn't even felt the bed dip I was so lost in my monumental amount of transgressions that I needed to be forgiven for.

"Ready?" he whispered, smiling so sweetly I just wanted to kiss him.

"Yes," I said, standing up, taking his hand in mine.

"I'm so attracted to you," Edward whispered as we sat in first-class seats on the airplane, his parents just three seats in front of ours. They had been sleeping since almost the minute we started flying out of Seattle. I was in the window seat with a blanket over my legs, and Edward was angled toward me with his head against the middle where our seats met, and his butt pushed out toward the aisle. He was so long he could barely even get comfortable in first class.

When he had spoken I was in deep thought as I stared at my Bible, rereading a verse so many times I thought possibly I was never going to comprehend it. I smiled at him, closing my book and putting it back in my bag. He grabbed my hand to kiss it. "Thank you," I returned somewhat belatedly.

"Do you ever think about me?" he asked while his eyes kept focused on my mouth.

"I'm sorry?" I looked over at him, awash with confusion.

"Nothing...so horny...shit," he mumbled incoherently next to me, burying his lips against the bare skin of my arm. He'd gotten me to wear one of his t-shirts, informing me I'd die of heat stroke when we got to Florida. I had to admit it felt kind of nice to be less covered. It made me feel so loved, being wrapped up in something that he wore.

I giggled lightly at his frustration. I may have been innocent, but I wasn't stupid. I knew he was getting frustrated with me. What I wouldn't give to be able to let go and love him. Of course I was not only in a pickle with my decisions, but I knew that even if I decided not to become a nun, I didn't think sixteen was the right time to be that open with someone. No, I'd definitely be waiting for marriage.

Marriage? Was I really considering this? Oh, dear God, forgive me.

"

Do you have any candy?" I asked him, needing a soothing distraction. It was my little secret that I turned to sweets to abate my anxiousness. Not that it helped much with the sugar coursing through my system.

Edward stared at me somewhat peculiarly at my question. He licked his lips, then sat up straighter in his seat. He took a breath before lifting his small carry-on and digging through it.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah," he finally answered, handing me a Snickers bar.

"Score," I said, unwrapping the bar immediately and biting into it. "I'm sorry, you want half?" I said, holding out the bitten bar. He closed his eyes, shaking his head.

"Ah. No, you have it, love," he laughed as I held it with both my hands, savoring its sweetness. When I started licking my fingers he nearly yelled.

"Stop that." He managed a loud whisper, pulling my hand into his.

"What? Did you want it after all?" Again with the closing of the eyes, his head shaking.

"Fuck. I'll be right back." He walked briskly to the front of the aisle, walking into a bathroom and closing the door. I watched the little sign go from "Open" to the red "Occupied" sign. By the time Edward had come back I was starting to fall asleep. He plopped down next to me, bringing his legs straight out in front of him. I felt his cheek rest against my shoulder.

When I heard him snore I opened my eyes to gaze at him. He was adorable as always. He had a light stubble on his chin and above his pouted mouth. He smelled amazing, so masculine and clean. His long arms rested against his knees, and his...fly was wide open.

I gasped as I found myself leaning over to see if what I was seeing was real. The zipper of his pants was down and stretched open, and his underwear could be seen. I covered my mouth with my hand, but once again I continued to stare. All it would take was one little nudge of the material, and his skin would be exposed. Edward continued to sleep unaware.

I knew I should wake him up, but then I felt that feeling of being watched. Looking up, I saw his mother Esme standing over us.

"Are you guys thirsty at all?" she asked, while I sat up straight, looking forward. "Oh, for God's sake, Edward honey, wake up. You are giving poor Isabella a show."

She lightly shook Edward's shoulder, to which he groaned, opening his eyes. He stared up at his mother with an irritated expression. "What, Mom?"

She looked at me anxiously before whispering in his ear. His eyes shot open wide as he sat straighter, zipping himself up, leaving some of the material of his boxers trapped there. He smiled at me in apology. I closed my eyes, completely embarrassed that everything seemed to have so much sexual innuendo with us.

"Oops," he kidded me, before telling his mother we'd each like a soda. Trying to just forget it, I went back to sleep, which didn't quell a thing. I dreamed of Edward and I touching, kissing, feeling so many things I had no definition for. He was awakening me even in my sleep.

When we landed, Edward's parents picked up a rental car, and we all went out to dinner before going to their beach house. It was a beautiful sunny evening; I'd never felt so warm and happy. People were everywhere, laughing and splashing about.

Edward of course gave me the grand tour of their beautiful beach house. It sat, as he'd said, on the beach with the most breathtaking view of the ocean I'd ever seen. I was looking outside his bedroom window as he unpacked us.

"You like it?" he asked excitedly.

"Yes. It's amazing here, Edward." He laughed before hugging me tightly.

"Well, it's kind of late, and my parents are going out. In fact they won't be here much; they have quite a social life here," he snickered. "I figured I'd make us dinner, and then we can watch movies, kind of relax, then head out to the beach in the morning before it gets too crowded."

"Oh? So we will be alone?" I asked.

"Yeah, most of the time. We'll do some stuff with them, but they just like to come here to get away."

"Okay," I told him, running my fingers in between his. He looked down at me tenderly.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, just nerves, I guess."

"Oh, baby girl, there is nothing to be nervous about. I promise we will have fun."

"I know-ah, where do I sleep?"

He clicked his tongue, looking around his room. "Ah, well, we just have this one bed. My parents have theirs, so I figured you would just sleep with me. Of course if you aren't comfortable, I could be on the floor-or the couch in the living room, I guess."

He didn't seem too thrilled with that idea, and honestly neither did I. I wasn't kicking him out of his own bed. "I will be on my best behavior," he added, seeing my reluctance. I nodded, knowing he would try at least.

"Do you know how happy it makes me you are here with me?" he said, lifting me up into his arms and spinning us around. I felt dizzy, burying my face in his neck. "I can't wait to see you in your new bikini," he whispered, and his cheeks flushed red as his forehead connected with mine.

"Yeah. If I wear it," I reminded him. Just because I let him buy it for me, I refused to let him see it when I tried it on, and he refused to let me put it back after seeing it on myself. So therefore I'd let him know, if I wasn't comfortable it wasn't happening. I guess the glint of hope I gave him was bigger than the denial of hope I was trying to convey.

"Well, that just isn't fair," he mused.

"We've discussed this," I said, stepping back and placing my hands on my hips in a this- isn't-negotiable stance.

"Well, then if you aren't going to wear it, I should at least be able to see it here. Please, Isabella, try it on for me." He sat back on his bed, leaning on his elbows as he licked his lips and smiled. He even winked, making me wish I had somewhere to run. I knew he was trying to be playful and ease me into things. I just wasn't prepared, and maybe I never would be comfortable with it.

"It's just me," he again pleaded with me. Suddenly it occurred to me. I didn't like telling him no over and over. So I went over to the dresser he'd filled with our clothes, rummaging around for the bikini, and stomped off in the direction of his bathroom.

"Score," I heard him shout, then his sweet laughter.

Some forty-five minutes later he knocked on the door. "Isabella sweetie-just forget it. I don't need to see it. Just come out-I miss you. Are you okay?"

"It doesn't look very good," I called out.

"That is impossible. You said it looked okay in the store," he said softly against the door.

"Well, it isn't," I told him as I stared in the mirror in horror. When I'd first put it on I thought, okay, I can do this. Then I realized my pubic hair was hanging out the sides of the bottoms. Not attractive, and it reminded me just how little of my body was covered.

So I pushed the bottoms down and found a razor in the bathroom. I tried to carefully shave the hair just enough so it didn't show, leaving several bloody cuts in their wake, which reminded me of menstrual cycles and other unpleasant things.

Then the longer I stood there holding toilet paper against the cuts, I realized I was completely out of my league. I was being someone I wasn't. Not that I really knew who I was anyway, but this outfit, or lack thereof, made me feel too different. I was sure he'd take one look at me and realize that I was not what he wanted.

That sort of comforted me too, knowing that showing myself might finally make him realize how I didn't belong in his world. So after several attempts to open the door and just reveal all-I just didn't. I sat back on the toilet seat and cried for the last twenty minutes.

He again knocked lightly. "Please, baby girl-angel. Come out," he pleaded.

Finally I walked to the door, opening it. He must not have expected it so soon, because he nearly fell against me as the door swung wide. "Jesus Christ," he announced to the heavens as he took me in.

"Edward?!" I scolded him with a stern reprimand. I pushed his chest as he walked backward toward his bed and sat down.

Then I stood in front of him with my arms crossed in front of my crotch. His eyes roamed lovingly from my head to my toes and back again. Then he focused on the smeared blood and red cuts near my groin.

"Wha-what happened? Are you on your period?" he asked slowly.

"No," I said as my lip quivered. Damn the tears.

"Come here," he said emotionally, as his long arms reached out to pull me forward. His hands rested gently against my bare thighs as he inspected the cuts. I would have normally died of overexposure if I wasn't so humiliated by being so utterly incapable of being normal.

"I'm sorry, baby. Believe me, my first thought is that you are absolutely stunning. You are beautiful, but why are you so sad?" he asked, looking up at me with pain in his eyes.

"I'm a freak, Edward. I tried to shave, and I cut myself." He looked confused, as his eyes darted back to my center and up at me again, before it dawned on him why I had shaved there, though I wasn't sure if he really understood.

He swallowed thickly. "You-you want to have sex?" he asked, as his fingers gripped my thighs tighter.

"Uh. No-I..." I had no words. He thought I shaved because I wanted sex? Was I even supposed to understand that? Do people shave before they have sex? Is it a requirement? Oh, no. I was sending him mixed signals.

"I didn't shave all of it," I finally said, staying stiff in his grasp. He seemed to be trying so hard to understand. "Just what was showing? Look, I'm getting dressed," I said, turning from him.

He grabbed me gently and pulled me down onto his lap. "I'm sorry. That was so insensitive of me," he whispered over my shoulder. "I wish you weren't so afraid to talk to me. Of all people, we should be able to say anything to each other. I'm not disappointed, Isabella. You are beautiful, and I knew that before you put that on. I just want you to understand that nothing could change how I feel about you. Please, don't be embarrassed to show me the real you."

"Don't you see, Edward? How wrong this is? If I dress this way in front of you, I can't expect you to not want to do things. Things I can't ever do. It is so unfair to you. Thank you for thinking I'm beautiful. It's just wrong of me to tempt you when I can never be free with you."

"Isabella, I won't lie to you. I want you like crazy. I'm young, and of course I want you. But, baby, I want you forever. I am not joking when I say that. You are the center of my world. I don't care if we haven't been together long. I can feel it. Don't you?"

"What you feel isn't wrong, Edward, but it is wrong of me to encourage it. You should find someone who can give themselves to you freely. Someone who isn't so silly and ridiculous" I shook my head as his hands flattened against my bare belly.

"No. I have all I want right here with you. I'll be damned if I am letting you go because you are scared. Fuck that!" he said, startling me.

"I'm sorry," he immediately whispered. "I won't let you go." He held me tighter and found my lips with his. His kiss was tender and emotional. His whisper in my ear sent bolts of electricity throughout my body. "I know you want this too, baby. Please, don't ever go away from me."

"Edward, I can't promise that."

"Yes, you can," he said sternly. "God, do you know how terrified I am of losing you? How I constantly worry you will run away from me? I'm not a bad guy, baby. I just want to love you and make you feel wonderful. I know you are scared, but you don't have to be. Don't you see that?" His hands went slowly up to my breasts where he placed his palms against my bikini top, dipping his thumbs inside the material and easing it just down below my nipples.

"God, you are such a beautiful woman," he said, my eyes closing heavily as his fingers traced the tightening bumps, my head falling back against his shoulder.

"Don't," I pleaded in a breathy whisper as my heart pounded against my chest. "Please. Let's just be friends and forget this. Edward, please don't. Don't tempt me." I begged as his breath became heavy against my cheek. I could feel him harden beneath me.

"Isabella, I can't help myself. I want more. I can't just be your friend."

"It's all I can offer. I am committing myself to..."

"I know, you've told me, but are you sure you're doing it for the right reasons?"

"Of course. It's what I want."

"I want you."

"Don't."

"Isabella, I love you."

Tears filled my eyes as he embraced me. I kept my arms limp at my sides.

"I'm sorry, I can't give you this." I told him as my own heart broke.

"Are you breaking up with me?" he asked, his hands stalling against my chest.

Tears ran down my face as he stood us up. I didn't have time to answer as he walked out of the room, closing the door.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Edited by MarchHare5

Broken Vows

By RobMyDream

Ch.8

Just You and Me

Isabella's POV

I was so rude to Edward, and as I waited by myself in his room, watching out the window, I knew it for sure. I was leading him on. Even if I wasn't meaning to, what did I really expect? He was a boy-no, a man now. Of course he was going to want to fool around with his girlfriend. I agreed to be that girlfriend, which was completely unfair of me.

Then again I had always made it clear that we could not be like that. It was still an unrealistic expectation. I had to grow up; I had to admit that I wouldn't be with him if I were entirely sure about my decision. Maybe I was being a bit irrational. No. Very irrational.

I couldn't hide the fact that I dreamed about his touches, his caresses, his kisses-that smile. I would love to see it everyday. His love, the way he made me feel special. This couldn't be a sin, could it?

A knock on his door startled me out of my day dream. "Yes, Edward?"

The door opened, and a familiar color of hair peaked in, but instead of Edward it was his mother. "Hey, how are you darling? Have you seen Edward? We were going to take you two out for dinner." I shrugged, a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach.

"I don't know, ma'am. He left an hour ago."

Her eyes widened slightly before she shut the door and motioned for me to sit on his bed with her. "Did you two have a fight already?" she chided, bouncing her shoulder against mine and smirking.

"I guess we did," I said, ready to cry.

"I don't want to pry, but do you want to talk about it?"

"I probably shouldn't talk about him without his knowledge," I said, twining my fingers together, trying to find some calm. I'd thrown on some pants and a long sleeved t-shirt over the bikini, but I still felt naked.

"Is my son pushing you to do things you aren't ready for? I've already talked to him, and..."

"No, we are fine. It's just so hard for me to decide to either be his girlfriend, or be a nun," I told her, as if that were the most normal conversation to have with her son's girlfriend. Then I remembered she didn't know about my decision.

"Whoa, a nun, huh?"

"Yeah. I sort of decided when I was seven to become a nun."

"Wow. That is quite a commitment. You are having doubts now?"

"Yes. Edward has made me doubt myself."

"I don't like the sound of that. He shouldn't be pushing you. That is a very personal decision."

"He isn't really pushing me, but we care a lot for each other. He just wants me to be sure."

She nodded, smiling sweetly. "Edward is very romantic, like his father, and you two are very young. However, we don't subscribe to the idea that you're too young to know what you want. Living is how we learn. At this age you want each other, and if you don't explore that, you won't know if it is right or wrong. I met Edward's father when I was seventeen, and he was twenty-one. He waited until I graduated. We married, and I have never been happier-which isn't to say that it is easy. You will grow and change. You just have to decide if the changes in each other are worth still loving each other. Doesn't matter when you decide to do it; you will still have those challenges.

"What made you decide to be a nun?" she asked sweetly.

"Because...well...I'm really not sure anymore. I can't really pinpoint it. I just thought I knew and went with it. Now, I'm afraid to make a decision because then I will break the other. My vow to God, or my promise to love Edward."

"Well, that doesn't sound like an easy decision, but I will tell you this. I don't think deciding not to go in either direction will end your life. We are given decisions in life to challenge us and take us to new places. Those decisions are a gift; at the end of the day

the only thing they really mean is we have chosen a different road to go down. Different challenges, but never the end. God will not hate you if you decide to live the life He gave you, and Edward will be hurt, but he won't hate you for following your dreams.

"Ultimately you have to decide which will make you suffer more if you turn against it. Your heart is telling you what you want, but you are asking it to make you sure. Yet you have chosen two paths that you have no experience going down. There will never be an easy way because of that. You just have to take one and promise yourself, no regrets, and do the best you can." She made everything sound so clear, so easy, even though they'd never be easy decisions to make. She was right; I just had to do it.

"Thank you, Mrs..."

"No. You call me Mother. I won't take anything else. I know about your momma dying, and I just want to be there for you when you need one. Not to replace her. Okay, kiddo?"

I smiled widely, then thought about my predicament with Edward. "Do you know where he might be? I have to find him."

"Oh, I imagine he is on the beach sulking, dear. That boy thinks a lot of you, and if you have fought he is surely trying to figure out a way to make it better. He doesn't give up easily, and I am biased, but I think he is worth the risk," she smiled brilliantly, and I hugged her enthusiastically.

"Thank you. I'm going to go find him," I said, shoving my shoes on my feet.

"Rain check on dinner then?" she called out.

"Definitely," I told her.

I walked down the dark beach for some time before I saw his familiar form right where she said he'd be. He sat under a dock, leaning back against one of its legs, listening to his iPod with his eyes closed. A small lamp in the corner under the dock dimly lit his features.

I didn't want to disturb him. He looked so peaceful, though a small crease in his forehead told me he was not completely undisturbed. I sat next to him carefully, and then decided to reach over to grab his free hand.

His eyes shot up quickly, focusing on mine. He held his heart in mock heart attack, then a smile formed. "Hi, baby," he said, taking off his headphones.

"Hi. I'm sorry we fought. I don't want to break up," I said quickly. His smile widened, and he leaned forward to peck my lips.

"You sure?" he asked. "Because I was totally wrong back there, and I am sorry I left you alone. I just needed to cool off. Are you okay?"

"Yes. I am fine, just got a little spooked. I didn't react well, and honestly it is all my fault. It was I who tempted you, and that was wrong."

"Oh," he said, breathing deeply and laying his head back against the dock.

"I mean, it was wrong...but now I've decided that I want it. I want you to touch me, and I want to touch you. Just please, can we take it slow?"

His smile returned. "Of course. You are my world, and we have our whole life, but what made you change your mind?"

"Your mother," I said, grinning.

"Oh, okay. I'm not sure if that is good or bad."

"It was good. She is really wonderful. She helped me understand things much better."

"That's good," he said, after some hesitation. "We, ah, didn't get off to a great start on our vacation. So what do you want to do tonight?"

"I don't know," I said, shrugging.

"Isabella? One thing. What about your vow?"

"It's already broken, and don't worry, okay? I mean, I'm not sad, and it was sort of a precursory vow. I can still commit if I decide to, but it doesn't look good though."

"Are you concerned about that? Because I don't want to be your mistake, baby. I don't want to be the one who took you from what you really wanted."

"Edward, I really want you. I want to experience us, and I won't take my final vow without knowing what we can be."

"Look, don't worry. I won't push you. If you say no, we stop. And my vow to you is we won't have sex until marriage."

"Marriage?" I asked with a stunned expression.

He smiled, pulling me into his lap, then brought my leg over his so I was straddling him. He pulled me gently closer, kissing my lips. "Isabella, I'm going to marry you. I already know it. You are my life, and there is no doubt in my mind."

"That's impossible," I said as my breathing sped up at his closeness. He held me gently, and his lips whispered over my cheeks and neck.

"Nothing is impossible..." he spoke, before putting his hand in his pocket and producing a small black velvet box.

"Isabella, will you marry me someday?" My head was reeling with thoughts I couldn't quite comprehend.

"Calm down, sweetie. I'm only asking for you to promise that if you decide against your vows, that it will be me you choose." He opened the box to reveal a tiny silver ring with two hearts engraved with the letters E and B. "I love you, and I want forever with you. You've made a promise to God, and I want that same promise: that if you choose me, I will be your forever.

"Is-is it too much? I don't want you to feel like I am making you make this decision. I only want it if you want it. I just want you to understand that none of this is a game to me. I am over being an out of control teenage boy. I can't even begin to explain all that I imagine you and I can be. I also know I said I wouldn't push, and I won't. Just say the word, and I'll back off, no matter what. Just please, choose me." He placed the delicate ring on the middle finger of my left hand, then placed a soft kiss over it. My heart flooded with love for him.

"Edward, you are such a dream. I don't know why you chose me, but yes, I choose you too. I love you!"

"Look, I hope you don't think I am crazy. I'm not really. Feeling this way is new for me, and I know we are young, especially you, being sixteen, but I know for sure that my heart belongs in your hands. I wouldn't want it in anyone else's. I am so glad I met you. I love you, sweetheart."

His kiss was slow and tender as he held my small hands in his, his breathing smooth and even. I wrapped my arms around his neck and felt his wet tears mix with mine against our cheeks. I knew it without a doubt. I was in love, and I was loved intensely. There was no way I could walk away from this.z88;


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Notes: Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

NOT EDITED

Broken Vows

By RobMyDream

Ch.9

The Summers End

Isabella's POV

The rest of our vacation Edward was a complete gentleman. He was excited to show me everything he thought I was missing in my youth. Though I felt apprehensive, I had probably the most fun I'd ever had in my life.

He took me out for the most amazing food, we played on the beach all day. I did wear my bikini, but Edward settled with me about wearing one of his long t-shirts over it. I told him. "You're the only one that gets to see me."

The look of pride on his face when I said that was enough to make him float into the sky. He treated me with caution, all the while pushing me just a little bit each day to enjoy the gift of life. I smiled so much, and at night when we went to bed side by side. He always slept on top of the covers, yet still stayed close to me to whisper his love in my ear, and kiss my cheeks.

His mother gave him a speech that if we were going to sleep in the same bed he was to be a perfect gentleman. It amazed he me how much they trusted him. It wasn't that I thought he wasn't trustworthy, but I wasn't stupid. I knew boys his age had a hard time controlling those urges, and desires for female attention.

I felt them too, though the difference was I'd never ever acted on them. Not even with myself. When we got home my father was eager to know from Edward, how our trip had gone. When he was satisfied with Edward's answers, he took me aside to grill me about it as well. It showed that he suddenly realized just what he'd allowed his sixteen year old daughter to do.

He trusted me, but he would have never forgiven himself if something happened to me. I let him know that being Edward's girlfriend was something I was enjoying immensely

and I had no plans not to continue. He noticed the promise ring Edward had given me, and though he thought it was lovely, he reminded me.

Promising Edward something so soon, was not a reason to break my vow. He just didn't want me running from one extreme to the other. What I had with Edward though didn't feel extreme. It excited, and ignited me in so many ways. It was addicting to feel that high of knowing a boy loves you, and adores you.

Already sees his future with you.

Though I enjoyed that feeling, I kept level headed. I realized that especially when school started he may move onto someone else. He may change his mind, and I started wondering what I'd have to do, to make sure he didn't ever want to go. I didn't like feeling possessive, but I didn't want to lose him.

He assured me I was, to put it in his words "insane" to think he'd never want me. That he wouldn't even mess around with me if he weren't sure. That he'd never ask me to reconsider my vows, if he thought he'd be gone in just three months time.

School would resume on September thirteenth. The day of my seventeenth birthday, and my junior, his senior year of high school. This year was going to be so important to our growth. He'd be going off to college, and it might be here in Washington or as far as England. He let me know that whatever he picked it wouldn't affect our relationship. Even I wasn't dumb enough to believe that we were so strong we could withstand distance, but of course I would try.

The day before school my father was out of the house, when Edward came over to talk about plans for my birthday.

"What do you wish for?" he said, while placing soft kisses against my ear.

"Nothing," I said, turning my face to him as he lay next to me on my bed. I was so sad the summer was over, but so glad for all the time with him. A birthday was the least important thing to me, but he seemed really excited about it. Over excited.

"Your almost eighteen," he whispered, as a hand trailed down my arm feather light. I felt lazy, and sleepy, dreading getting up early for school tomorrow.

"I'm not even seventeen yet, how am I so much closer to eighteen." He laughed, before placing a soft kiss on my lips, tingles running through my body at warp speed.

"One day, one year, not much difference," he smirked, as his leg slowly came over mine, I was laying on my back trying hard to coax him into an actual nap, and not a groping session.

"What's so important about eighteen?" I ask, swallowing thickly as his lips traveled down my neck.

"Well…You're an adult at least, and we could get married," my eyes widened before I realized he had to be kidding.

"Your insane, most guys would be running from the mere word," I told him, as I tried to control his wandering hand too close to cupping a breast.

"Maybe…If you haven't found the right woman, but I have so…" he trailed off, moaning slightly has his thumb caressed my nipple through my shirt. My beating heart decided then to run a marathon.

I was fine with it to a certain extent. He'd been into groping since we got home from vacation, and I seriously didn't want him to feel like I wasn't enjoying being with him. I didn't want to give him a reason to be so frustrated he looked elsewhere.

Needless to say I did enough praying about this to last a lifetime.

"Well, even so. Just because you are physically eighteen, doesn't mean you are ready to be an adult. Ready for adult things." I'd given my church official notice that I was re- evaluating my vows. They took it better than I thought they would. They said to take the time I needed.

Everyone seemed almost too okay with things. What worried me was that Edward seemed to be stirring up my body into all kinds of unexplained feelings. Feelings I was definitely not completely ready to have. I felt awkward, and maybe just a bit like a faker. While he loved to touch me to the point he'd become so lost in it, I'd find him laying next to me like now. Rolling his eyes into the back of his head, over the smallest kisses, and caresses.

I'd had so much practice running away from those kind of feelings, ignoring their presence, that giving in felt a little too much like stepping over the edge of a cliff. If I was to be like our peers, and allow him to go all the way. There'd be no chance in good conscious I could ever turn around back to my vow to God.

Which I am understanding isn't the end of the world, as I had previously thought. That God would not hate me, but what made me the most uncomfortable is the fact that I'd ignored this side of myself for so long, I was afraid of doing something really stupid.

"Isabella?" Edward brought me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah?" I said, as he hovered over me looking into my face.

"You can touch me too, you know. I feel like it's always me," his fingertips caressed my cheekbone.

"Maybe we should make lunch? You hungry?" I asked, squirming slightly beneath his heavy leg.

"No. We had a pretty big late breakfast." His kiss replaced any other words I might have been ready to spew. He unbuttoned his shirt, then placed my hand against his chest.

"Please, touch me," his fiery green eyes implored. Truth be told I love touching Edward, but there is that fear factor. That will he reject me because I have no clue-factor.

"Edward. I love you, but I'm not ready for this," I told him, though I had yet to remove my hand.

"Baby? Ready for what? I'm not asking you to have sex, just to relieve a little tension. I love you sweetheart. This is normal, please don't worry, you can trust me."

"I know," I told him, as he came down to kiss my neck, his body becoming more situated over my own. I welcomed it, and feared it in equal amounts.

"Have you ever pleasured yourself?" he asked, and I laughed.

He looked down at me with half lidded eyes, glossy with lust. "What?"

"Are you kidding me?"

He nodded, then smiled shaking his head. "Sorry, I guess what I want to know is if you'll let me make you feel good-over your clothes? Just so you can see it isn't so bad, of course if you don't want to that is fine."

"Wha-what would you do?" He licked his lips, before meeting mine with his burning kiss.

"Just caress you until you feel-good," he said carefully, motioning between my legs with his hand.

"Why?" I asked, though my voice betrayed my fear.

He pursed his lips smiling. "Because, you clearly think this is something horrible, and when two people love each other they do these kind of things. It's about love, not pain or anything bad. I just want you to feel the way I do."

He hugged me tightly to him, then added. "I promised, no sex till marriage."

There is that word again. "Okay, I guess so." I couldn't believe my voice was saying the opposite of my thoughts. I was so terrified, but I loved him too. I wanted so badly to please him.

"If you become uncomfortable at any time. I will stop. Okay?" I nodded, and he kissed me passionately. His fingers wasting no time trailing down the middle of my stomach where he lifted the hem of my shirt out of my pants. My breathing stalled when his finger played with my bellybutton, tracing soft patterns against it. He pulled lightly at the belt loop of my pants, all teases that made him smile when my breath would hold.

His hand cupped my thigh running slowly down to my knee, and back up. He kept a watchful eye on my face, but his hand seemed to need no visual aid. "I love you," he mouthed.

My body trembled and calmed alternately with each caress, and the look on his face was calm, but filled with tender longing.

When suddenly his warm palm pressed gently on my middle, my hands shot up to cover my face. "Please, baby. Don't pull away, look at me." I could tell his face was inches from mine, though his hand stayed planted.

When I opened my eyes too look down at his hand, I couldn't help but notice his arousal through his shorts. It was too much, and before I knew what to do, I jumped from the bed.

I stood some distance away against my bedroom wall panting. Edward's eyes were wide with shock. "Oh, My God. I'm sorry Isabella. I don't know what I was thinking. I know you're not ready. I'm sorry…" he stood quickly, adjusting his pants.

I would be lying if I said I was about to break up with him. I let my fear rule the day. His panicked eyes held the fact that he knew this too. I ran to him falling into his arms. "Oh, Edward. Sweetheart, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to react that way. I love you too."

He remained stiff in my arms for some moments before relaxing. His arms encircling me, and his apologetic lips found mine softly. He didn't push for more.

"Oh baby girl. Damn these teenage hormones," he joked with me. "I'm going to go home. I'll pick you up for school in the morning?" I nodded.

"It's fine, Edward. I'm fine." He smiled, and after one last kiss walked out of my bedroom door to go home.

_o0o0o_

Edward was oddly quiet the next morning, I found it odd that there were no awkward touches. No, kiss either, just a sweet hello, and the impression he wanted to lean forward in the car, but thought better of it.

I grabbed his hand before he went to his first class, and gave it a light peck winking up at him. Trying to tell him with my eyes, that I am fine. I may be socially inept, but I'd get there. He asked me to meet him in his car for lunch.

The morning went by pretty smoothly, but apparently enough of the right people had seen me at his locker this morning to start the rumor ball rolling. I had Jessica Stanley, and Tanya Denali all up in my face at certain points trying to get information. I just stared at them dumbly, not knowing what to say.

I guess I fooled them without trying because they walked away satisfied there was nothing to see there. When I finally met Edward outside for lunch, he started the car pulling up to the very back of the parking lot near some shade trees. He had made us a nice lunch, and brought me a slice of cake for my birthday. As well as a gift, which I was thankful for even though I wasn't into being celebrated.

He gave me a pretty necklace to wear, and added that if I was uncomfortable wearing his ring, that I could put it on the chain, and wear it around my neck. I was so happy, but a bit taken aback by the thought that he wouldn't want me to wear the ring the proper way.

"You don't want me to wear it?" I asked.

"No. I do, I just wasn't sure how comfortable you were with wearing it to school, since people might question you. I mean we haven't really announced that we are a couple," his hand took mine, and he kissed over the ring he gave me.

"Oh. Yeah. What should I say if people ask?"

"Whatever your comfortable with saying sweetie. Please, though will you forgive me for last afternoon? Do you understand that there is just so much I want to share, and feel with you?"

"I know. I'm fine. I want to share with you as well."

"Happy birthday baby," he said, leaning forward to kiss me. His tongue tracing my lips, and sending tickles down my neck, and throat.

"Thank you so much Edward, and I really don't care for anyone to know about us. I mean it's fine if they do, but I don't think we need to announce it. It isn't anyone's business."

"I agree," he said, and we hugged before going back to class.


	10. Chapter 10

Author's Notes:

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Edited by MarchHare5

Broken Vows

By RobMyDream

Ch.10

Oxford Blues

Isabella's POV

Throughout the school year Edward became very serious about his studies. I didn't really have anything to compare him to since the previous year he wasn't in my life. However, seeing him really buckle down, striving for excellence, was a refreshing surprise.

I myself had never really put much thought into school, I will admit. I always knew where I was going and what I'd be doing. It wasn't that I thought it unimportant, I just didn't feel the need to over excel. Sadly, in discovering this about us, I realized that my heart maybe really wasn't in the right place.

I was becoming more aware that I was running to this destination, not because I wanted to help those less fortunate, not because I felt a strong sense of union with my Creator, but because it felt-safer.

It took a while for me to admit that, regardless of Edward's seductive side, it taught me that what I really feared was being intimate, loving someone and having them love me back. To know I'd put this all on myself made it even worse. I took one night catching my Uncle Jasper doing something I didn't understand, combined that with the strict warnings of my religion, and put it together as something evil to be avoided. I wasn't comfortable with bodily urges, and the more I pretended I didn't notice it, the more alien these natural feelings felt. Now, if I was to be honest, I knew what I really feared...was me: the real me open and exposed. I was terrified.

I do want to help people; don't let me mislead you. My religion means a lot to me for this reason. People are so far removed from their Creator, so far removed from touching

other's lives. I didn't want to lose that part of myself, but wasn't certain how to juggle both feelings.

Edward and I only dated on Friday nights. We'd spend the night watching movies, kissing, some touching, but mostly just being together. Ever since the afternoon in which I ran from him, treating him like the devil himself, I think he became frightened of pushing me too far.

As fearful as I was, I didn't like this change in him. I missed confident, sexy, at ease Edward, who couldn't wait to touch me. He told me everyday his feelings hadn't changed, but I couldn't help but feel confused.

The year went by all too quickly for my taste, and it was a week before graduation night. On our Friday date Edward took me to one of the old outdoor movie theatres. We were snuggled close in the front seat of his new jeep, and he seemed rather distant even then.

"You okay?" I asked him.

"Mmhmm," he said, as I watched his face, the different lights and shadows of the movie playing in his eyes. I sighed, huffing out a breath of air.

"Did you decide about college?"

He stared down at me carefully. "Yes. Oxford is really a good opportunity, and I can't afford not to have that experience." His arm tightened around me as he kissed my head.

"Oh, I'm so happy for you!" I told him, kissing his shoulder, and I really was, but of course I knew that meant he'd be away-a lot.

"

I'm sorry I haven't talked about it until now. It's just it was a really hard decision, but I knew that for our future, I want the best education. So it will be worth it in the end, don't you think?"

"Absolutely. I just don't know what I'll do without you here," I told him honestly, feeling tears burning in my eyes. His lips found mine, placing a searing kiss that left me breathless.

"You know we'll be okay, right?" he asked, after the kiss broke.

"Of course, I will wait for you. Just like you've waited for me." I knew Edward had decided to major in Obstetrics, which was completely noble and wonderful. I was so very proud of him, and his decision to go away to school was not something I wanted to be a factor in. His education would set the pace for the rest of his life, but it made me wary when he used it in context to our future, as opposed to his.

I wanted it, our future, but I didn't want him to use that as a focus, when relationships could be so unsure. I guessed it didn't matter, because regardless he'd be doing what he wanted, even if I wasn't in the picture later.

The summer after his graduation flew by much quicker than we wanted. He was due to leave for England in three days, and the fact that he was becoming more distant started to really scare me.

When I'd question him, he'd simply say that it was best we didn't get too emotional before he left, or it would make it that much harder for him to leave. He was looking at six to eight years minimum of school, mostly spent overseas. I was becoming so anxious, so afraid that he'd leave and that would be it, that I did something quite desperate.

My father wasn't home for the weekend, so I ran to the store late that night, made a few purchases, and came back home. I stood at my bedroom window at nine p.m., watching for Edward. His bedroom light was on; I knew he was probably packing for his trip. Once I knew he was in his room near the window, I threw a small rock I'd gathered from outside the distance to his.

It pelted lightly on the glass, making him turn abruptly. The look on his face was priceless as I waved to him. He slid open the glass, chuckling.

"What are you doing, angel?"

"Edward, please come over. I-I need you."

"I should finish packing, honey. Ah, just give me a few minutes," he relented, before blowing me a kiss. My hands shook as I emptied the contents of the small paper bag onto my bed, arranging it in a display of sorts, not really sure why it even mattered.

I then went to my wardrobe and picked out something nice to wear, a small, light, silky nightgown that hit just mid-thigh and felt incredibly showing. I threw my big fluffy white robe over it and waited. I heard the doorbell, and my heart nearly jumped out of my throat.

I ran downstairs, coming to the door out of breath.

"What's going on?" he asked innocently.

"Nothing. I just wanted to be with you. We've been...so distant. Don't you want to be with me?"

He smiled shyly, nodding. "Of course I do. Don't think I'm not completely panicky, leaving you here unprotected from all the predators. You are mine!" He playfully raised his voice in mock cave man tone. I took his hand, leading him upstairs.

As soon as my bedroom door shut, I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him with all the passion I could muster. His hands gripped tightly to my sides as his heated breath flowed into my mouth between kisses.

"Jesus!" he moaned. I swatted his chest for using the Lord's name in vain, but then just smiled. He smiled back. "What was that for?" he asked softly, tracing my lips with his thumbs.

"I love you," I said, standing back a step. He seemed confused until I dropped my robe. "And I'm ready," I said. Then just so he'd know I was serious, I grabbed the contents from my bed and thrust them in his hands.

He glanced down at the condoms and bottle of lube with wide eyes. I'd done some research, and I just wanted to be ready for anything.

"Whoa," he finally spoke, his breath still heavy in his chest. "Baby, I..."

"No. Edward, don't say no. I know you wanted to wait, but that will be such a long time from now. You are going away-I mean, far away. There will be other women, and I can't expect you to just not... I mean, you can do what you want. You don't owe me anything, but... Even if I don't see you ever again, I want this with you. You are the only one worthy of my first time. Please, don't stop."

I was trembling as his and my legs gave up the fight to stay standing. We held each other gently as we sank to the floor, the box of condoms and bottle of warming lube falling between us on the carpet.

His eyes stayed focused on mine. He was so beautiful; he wore a short beard because he hated shaving. He told me he'd probably keep it at school, and now it just made him look so much older, more sophisticated. His lips were pouted between the scruffy brownish- blonde locks. I loved the feel of it against my skin.

I shook the more we just sat there. I was still so out of my league, but I didn't want to be that person anymore. I didn't want to be afraid; I wanted to make love to my amazing boyfriend. To my future. I wanted to give him a night he wouldn't forget.

"I can't-Baby, we shouldn't. Not until we get married."

My hands shook as I reached forward toward his pants zipper. He of course stopped me with his hand, holding me against him, my trembling somewhat calmer now. Even if he wanted to stop now, I could feel his already twitching penis coming to life inside his pants.

"Please, Edward, I will never be less nervous. Just please, make love to me. Let's get this first time over with."

He shook his head. "I don't just want to get this over with. I love you, Isabella. You are my life. This is your first time. It should be special."

"It is, it will be. It's us-I want this. Please, don't reject me."

"Never," he said, as he pushed gently so I'd lie back against the floor, his body hovering over mine before settling between my legs. He rested most of his weight on his forearms, then his lips met mine. I held onto him like my life depended on it, because it did.

"You got warming lube?" he suddenly asked, smiling down at me. My cheeks flushed bright red, and he buried his laughter in my chest, kisses lining my collarbone.

I was listening to him make promises to me, but all I could concentrate on was this new feeling of his warm center pressed against mine. He'd never rested his full weight on me, and surprisingly it felt so good, so safe, so sensual. I could feel his hips slide against me ever so slightly, putting pressure against my throbbing core. Yet his face showed his battle with restraint.

I began frantically trying to pull his shirt over his head. He allowed it, as his thumbs traced my sensitive nipples through the silk nightgown, making them stand alert against the fabric. He smiled before eyeing me closely, then closed his lips over one bud, the hot air heating and wetting the fabric over it. I cried out in a soft moan.

"Baby, you are on fire," he said, smiling. Of course I was; Edward was an amazing man, I wasn't stupid.

"Yesss," was my heated reply. Before I could comprehend what was happening, he carried me to my bed, throwing back the covers and placing me against a pillow. He looked contemplative as I lay there panting. "Please, I want to feel you," I begged, not understanding my feelings, but knowing that right now they made more sense than they ever had.

His hands went to his jeans to loosen the buttons on his fly before he slid them down his body. I was heady with delighted terror. He left on his boxer shorts as he settled once again against the center of my legs.

"Oh, baby. Listen, I won't fu-I won't make love to you tonight. I can't do that, but..." he said, before I could protest. "I will make you feel good if you'll let me?" His eyes questioned me as a gentle kiss pressed against my lips. All I could do was nod, knowing I wanted to do whatever would please him.

"Okay," I whispered. He asked me to close my eyes, and I felt him get up from the bed. I opened them out of fear he was leaving, when I noticed him pick the lube up off the floor. He grinned, holding it up, then sat it on the bedside table. My heart was doing its best to leave my chest cavity, beating so hard I put my hand over it to calm it.

"You are so amazingly beautiful, Isabella. Please remember what a gift you are giving me. I don't take this lightly. I want so bad to pleasure you. Just think of this as working up to the actual thing. Okay?" I nodded again.

His hands roamed my body, trying to calm my nerves, but setting me on fire just the same. He carefully pinched the thin straps of my nightgown, pulling them down my shoulders, uncovering my breasts, leaving the material bunched under them. He watched carefully as they rose and fell with each breath. Then his lips were at mine, over my jaw, down my neck to just above the peaks he desired.

I could see his erection straining against his boxers, and I felt bad that I didn't know how to please him just the same. I didn't want this to be one-sided.

"Can-can I see it?" I asked, staring down at his lap and back up to his face. He looked truly at war with himself, knowing if he was naked how much easier it might be to do what I wanted. Regardless he stood up and pulled his boxers down, his erection springing to life against his stomach.

"It's beautiful," I exclaimed, albeit shyly. He gave me a closed mouth smile.

Pushing up the hem of my nightgown, he slid it sensually up my thighs until my whole nightgown lay in an intricate pile against my stomach. I could feel the fire heat my skin, but I was now more excited to know what would happen than ever.

I could see his trepidation, yet his desire to please me won out against it. He'd talked non- stop of how beautiful our wedding night would be, but I knew it would be painful also, so practice was maybe a good idea-I hoped.

As his fingers slid into the elastic of my underwear, he eyed me carefully. "You sure?" he asked, softly giving me plenty of time to change my mind.

"Yes," I spoke, and before I could take another breath his eyes were following the trail his hands made with my underwear down my long legs. I immediately snapped my legs shut when he had them off. I could hear him chuckle behind my knees, his head coming down to kiss my kneecaps.

"Is there a key to this lock?" he asked playfully, sliding his fingers between my knees and spreading them slowly apart.

"Do I smell?" I asked nervously, and then wished I'd just kept my mouth shut. Of course I did. I was just babbling.

He took a deep intake of breath, before nodding. "Like heaven," he said. I felt faint just watching him get so much pleasure out of this. Even if I wanted to stop now I wouldn't. It wouldn't be fair to him; he was so clearly aroused as was I.

I had my eyes closed when his next actions nearly sent me home to the motherland. His body rested gently between my legs, his hard erection pressed against my sex, and his lips devoured mine. I gripped tightly to his wild hair, wrapping my legs instinctively around his hips. His pelvis rubbed experimentally against my nub as his kisses remained vigilant against my mouth.

"I love you," he moaned, and I returned the sentiment against his mouth.

"You have to tell me when you feel good, okay?" he said, as he continued to grind against my throbbing core. I nodded as his mouth sucked on my neck. Even if it never felt good, this intimacy with him was more than I could have ever asked for. It was beyond thrilling.

It wasn't long before he seemed to have found the right spot, and I responded by trying to move against him. He seemed delighted with this, a smile forming on his lips, though his eyes stayed closed. I watched his face contort in delight, while my body sent whizzing bouts of delight across my nerves.

"Oh. Ohhh," I said, as my breath remained shaky.

I held tight as he seemed to want to pull away. "Just...just let me release. I don't want to come on you, and I'm really close." I knew he was trying to be considerate, and I would have been disappointed, but as he sat up, rubbing his length, his eyes never left mine. Just before he came he grabbed a tissue, releasing his semen into it with a loud groan.

I sat up on my elbows, my sex still throbbing. "I would have done that for you. It's-you could have come on me," I said, feeling a bit strange, but wanting to please him.

He smiled, balling up the tissue and putting it my waste basket. "I'm sorry," he said. "I just wasn't sure," he added before lying on his stomach with his head between my legs. "I had to release regardless. I could barely concentrate on being gentle with you-like that." I nodded in understanding.

His arms hooked under my thighs, holding them tight as he scooted his face near my opening. "What are you going to do?" I asked with my eyes widened.

"Love you," he said, winking. "Just lie back and close your eyes," he said. "Do you trust me?" he asked.

"Yes," I said, allowing myself to lie back against the pillow. I let several breaths escape my mouth which formed an o, and then closed my lips tight, shutting my eyes when I felt his breath near me.

His fingers parted my flesh, and before I could gulp in a breath, his tongue slowly licked my entrance up to my sensitive place. "Mmmm," I heard him moan, and I was doing all I could to hold my breath.

"Relax, sweetheart."

I took another slow breath, letting it flow out of my mouth. I could feel my nub swell with desire. Never in a million years did I think it could feel this amazing, and the cherry on top was that this man loved me. Wanted me.

His tongue lapped quickly against me, causing me to finally cry out in pleasure, no longer coherent enough to care about being embarrassed. His finger tip teased the entrance of my sex, pushing in and out just enough to feel pressure before sliding back out. He would suck my nub into his mouth, and before long I could feel a strong tickle in my stomach.

"Yes, baby. Let go," he said, before sticking his tongue where his finger had been, and I came violently against his mouth as he sucked me greedily.

"Ahhhh, ahhhhh. Ohhhh," I moaned, riding out the horrifying wave of pleasure my body was taking. I couldn't have controlled it if I wanted to. When the intense pleasure finally subsided, I opened my eyes to see him smiling a satisfied grin between my thighs. He was so pleased, as was I. Yet I still wondered if I'd feel terrible later.

He got up, walked into my bathroom, and brought back a warm washcloth. He wiped my legs and middle tenderly, then placed my underwear back on, bringing the straps of my nightgown back up, but not before tenderly kissing each nipple. "See you later," he said to them before covering them up. I giggled.

I was absolutely exhausted as he pulled my nightgown down over my thighs. "Just as you were," he said, sweetly covering my cheek in a kiss.

"Not quite," I said heavily, as I tried unsuccessfully to kiss his lips. He put up a finger for me to wait, then he disappeared into the bathroom. I heard water running, then him brushing his teeth, before coming back all minty fresh.

He got into my bed with me covering us up. "Can I spend the night, or will your father be back soon?"

"Yes, you can. He won't be back till tomorrow evening. God, Edward. I don't know what to say."

He shrugged his shoulders as he held me. "You don't have to say anything. I just hope all that was okay. That was a pretty big step."

I kissed him tenderly, enjoying the mint on his breath. "Did that taste good?" I asked.

He laughed. "You taste divine, darling, but in all honesty, it didn't even taste that strong. It's just very intimate." I nodded in agreement.

"Thank you, Edward, that was so wonderful. I wish you would have let me please you."

"Baby girl, I am more than pleased. I just don't want you to ever regret it when we're intimate, and don't ever think we have to, especially now."

"You'll be so far away. I guess it won't be anytime soon."

His brow furrowed in aggravation. "I know. Look, I can always transfer to UW later. I just really don't want to miss this opportunity. Do you understand? I'm not leaving you because I want to. I'm doing all this for us."

"I know. It's just the distance, and there will be all those pretty girls. I can't expect you to stay faithful to me. I can't even give you all of me yet. I mean, even if we were married, I'd be scared."

"Sweetheart, I don't want other girls-number one. Number two, when we do have sex, it will great at the right time, in the right place. I will be ever faithful to you." Tears filled my eyes at his words. I was not ashamed of what we did; in fact it made me want him more. I was so happy for him, even if I was sad I'd be without him for a while.

He held me close the whole night long, tenderly kissing my lips, whispering his love, and promising me forever. That morning I awoke to find him on his knees, looking up at me reverently as I sat before him. He took my hand, kissing it, and then proposed to me. Not because he felt he had to, but because he said he knew what he wanted, and he never wanted me to have a doubt.

To my great surprise, he slipped a small gold band next to my promise ring on my fourth finger. I said yes, and fell into his arms.


	11. Chapter 11

Author's Notes:

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Edited by MarchHare5

Broken Vows

By RobMyDream

Ch.11

So Emotional

Isabella's POV

I ended up riding in the car with Edward's parents when we took him to the airport. It was the worst day for me. Tears flowed, panic ensued, my

heartfelt crushed beneath pounds of bricks. My father chose not to come with us, though he was now fully aware of our engagement.

Edward's parents were beyond happy about

it; my father was skeptical, but glad that Edward decided to pursue his education first, giving us plenty of apart time before spending an eternity together.

Our goodbye kiss did not help matters in the

slightest as his tongue crept just inside my lips, touching the tip of my tongue. I gasped, staring over his shoulder at his parents, while he chuckled down at me, winking.

"I will miss you so

much, baby," he said, before taking the journey from where we stood to the secured entrance to his airplane.

"Bye!" I called out dumbly, waving frantically while tears flowed from my

eyes and his mother Esme tried unsuccessfully to comfort me.

Once I was back home, I was in no mood to talk to my dad. He sat in his evening

chair, looking at me worriedly as I cried. He wasn't one to handle too much emotion.

"Dinner?" he said, as I passed him on my way upstairs.

"Nooo!" I wept again loudly, taking the stairs two steps at a time. I just wanted the pain to go away.

I was completely terrified to just let things be. I stomped into my room like the teenager I could sometimes be counted upon to be, and sat down at my desk with a frown. Edward had bought me a

computer and set up an Internet connection for me that he was paying for.

I tried to refuse, but he insisted it would be so much easier for us if we could communicate at least once a day. Not caring that he had nine hours of flying to do, I brought up the instant messenger program, set to wait it out until he said he'd landed.

I'd fallen asleep in my chair when I heard the chimes some hours later. My back was stiff, and my head ached from crying, but I sat

forward, alert and waiting.

EdwardC~ Hey baby, hope you have calmed down. I hate to see you cry like that. I am waiting on my next plane in NY. Are you up? If not it's okay, you'll see this message when you are.

IsabellaS~ Hi, Edward. I'm here, I fell asleep waiting for you. I love you, and miss you!

It was lucky he'd shown me how to use this thing,

because I was not used to it, and was nervous I'd lose the conversation somehow. I planned to never shut off my PC or delete the box he was speaking through the whole time he was gone, though he told me that wasn't a good idea.

EdwardC~ Oh, my Isabella, I am missing you so much, I love you too. This is going to be exciting though. Don't worry, as soon as you graduate you are coming out there on my dime to see me, and I'll take you all over London. It will be so much fun. Is your dad okay?

IsabellaS~ I think he is. I actually should apologize to him, I wasn't very nice when I came home. I'm just so scared. Don't worry I'll take care of him. I don't want to give him a reason to hate you J A trip to London would be amazing.

EdwardC~ Just remember you need to start applying for passport so you can come over there. Maybe we could get married there, what do you think? J

IsabellaS~ Oh, Edward. Aren't you scared?

EdwardC~ Of what baby?

IsabellaS~ Marrying me? I mean I can't even imagine it, but I do know I want to be with you forever.

EdwardC~ I'm so grateful you chose me baby. I can't even begin to tell you what it means. Thank you for our night together, I will always remember every touch, every sound, your scent-all of it. Of course I'm not afraid to marry you. I am the luckiest man…Oh baby I have to go, they are calling my flight. I will contact you soon. Go to bed, so you won't be tired for school. Hugging you tightly.

IsabellaS~ I am going to cry again. I can't help it. I love you too Edward. Please, let me know as soon as you are safe. Hugging you back.

He didn't respond back again, and I was glad to know he was on his way, even if it broke my heart.

As hard as I tried to be studious about school, my mind was constantly on my Edward. He was doing well already, settling

in, even going to campus parties. He said London was definitely his favorite place, that he couldn't wait to share it with me.

I was taunted daily by Jessica

Stanley and Tanya Denali, much to my dismay. They seemed to have gotten wind about my boyfriend going to Oxford, and wanted to rub in my face how hard it would be for him to be that far away and not get with some girl.

I ignored them mostly, but they definitely knew how to feed on my fears and insecurity.

Between worrying about Edward, and what he was up

to, my trying to pass my classes, and deal with those hateful girls, I was lucky to barely graduate by the end of the year.

I was just thankful it was over, and dreading that that weekend, I'd be having a review of my vows with my counselors at church. I hadn't really given them an update in a while.

"

So, Isabella, how have you been?" Father Michael asked warmly.

"I'm well. I'm actually engaged to be married to my boyfriend Edward.

So I suppose I've made my decision."

"Well, congratulations. I guess he'll become

Catholic at some point?"

"Umm. We hadn't really discussed that."

His eyebrows rose. "Oh. Well, you do realize if he marries you, your children must be raised in the Catholic

church, regardless of whether he chooses to convert."

Children?

Oh, dear? Children?

"And of course having children with him,

well, that puts you pretty much at a disadvantage if you change your mind about your vows. It will be harder in the end."

"Yes. I understand. We don't talk about

religion. He doesn't go to church. I guess we have a lot to discuss."

"Indeed. Isabella, we are very happy for you, but you must not turn away from God for a man. I'm sure you know that. Don't throw away your

faith.

"I do have something else to discuss with

you, Isabella. You haven't been seen at church, and no one recollects you entering confession in quite some time. Now, I realize you have been busy with school, but you do realize failure to confess can constitute reason for excommunication?"

"I'm sorry, I really don't have an excuse. I guess I let time get away. I've been so busy deciding what to do, and spending time with my boyfriend before he left. I have been going, just not as often."

"Hmm. Well, I'm honestly sad to hear that our faith disinterests you. I guess you have made the right decision in not following your vows, but I'd hoped you wouldn't just disregard everything you've grown to love."

I felt tears coming to my eyes. I knew I'd been wrong for not going, but confessing would mean telling someone what Edward and I had done. Any kind of sexual act before marriage is not good. Even though confession is secret, I knew it would take no time at all before word got around. I was

terrified, almost too terrified to even attend mass.

I felt like my sins were written on my face. I didn't want to be made to feel badly about our intimacy.

"I'm sorry," I cried.

"It's

okay, Isabella. Our Lord will forgive you, but I think you should go confess right now. Tell Him how long it has been, and leave nothing out. You will feel much better."

"Okay," I said in broken tears.

I went to confess, and broke down sobbing while doing it. It didn't take long for all my Sundays to be filled with cautious

stares or looks of pity. I kept all this from Edward.

During one Sunday after graduation, I walked

home, contemplating how I was going to tell Edward what we'd have to do. Would it be a deal breaker? He was definitely not that impressed with my religion, even though he respected it for me. He felt it was too confining and didn't allow a person to live and learn about life.

I was starting to see how he could feel that way. When I arrived home I decided it was time to just tell Edward what he needed to

do and get myself back on track. No matter what happened, I definitely wanted to always be with Edward.

"Dad, I'm home. I'll start lunch." There was no answer as I entered the kitchen to get some soup going. Grabbing some bread for sandwiches, I heard a loud banging.

"Dad? Are you okay?"

When he didn't answer I went to see what happened. I found him unconscious in the middle of our living room with the remote control in his hand.

He was announced dead on the scene of a heart attack. By five o'clock that evening I officially had no one, not my mother, now not my father, my vows were destroyed, and I was left quite alone.

Edward's parents tried

their best to come and comfort me, but I was inconsolable. They let him know what happened, but I couldn't answer the phone or get online. I felt absolutely helpless, and even the Church wasn't offering me much in the way of condolence.

I was becoming more and more angry by the day. At week's end someone had called the only person listed in my father's will to care for me if he should

pass, the last person I wanted to see: my Uncle Jasper, and he'd be here in three days.

The church put together my father's funeral, but I was still somewhat kept distanced, which I couldn't understand.

Yet it all made sense. I had defiled myself with my boyfriend. I'd confessed it, and now I was considered unworthy.

I was too embarrassed to leave home. At the funeral Uncle Jasper stood by me

warily, unable to speak to me, and even if he had I wouldn't respond. My anger seemed to permeate my senses. He in my mind was the reason for all my troubles now.

I was eighteen now, but the will stipulated that my uncle would care for me until my twentieth

birthday, making sure I at least attended one year of college. I was truly lost and hadn't had the guts to speak to Edward at this point. I seriously thought about breaking off our engagement and just disappearing with the insurance money that had come down from my father's job.

As the funeral ended, I turned to walk with Uncle Jasper to the

car when I saw Edward standing by a tree. He looked hurt, sad, maybe even angry.

"That's my

boyfriend. I'll just be a minute." It was the first thing I'd said to him all day.

"Okay,

sweetheart. I'll wait for you," Uncle Jasper said, holding his wife's hand tenderly.

I walked over to where Edward stood, taking his

hand and falling against his chest in quiet sobs.

"Baby? Jesus. Why didn't you talk

me? You had to know I'd be here for you at a moment's notice?"

"I'm

sorry, Edward, I just couldn't."

"Why, precious?"

"You shouldn't have

come."

"Are you kidding

me? Nothing could have stopped me." He held my chin in his palm, making me look at him. "I love you, damn it. Don't you dare close up on me!"

I stared at

him, wide-eyed. "I'm sorry, I'm just so scared."

He hugged me tightly. "Don't worry.

You're alone now, and so there is no reason we can't just go get married. You'll come back to Oxford with me as soon as we close your father's affairs. I will take care of you, honey." He gripped me tightly, kissing my head.

"Uncle Jasper is my guardian for the next

year. I have to go to college."

"You can go in London. Jasper

—isn't he the uncle you never talk to?"

"Yes, but

Daddy's will says he has to take care of me."

"

No, he doesn't. You are my fiancée, and I will take you with me. Don't worry, baby. You don't have to stay with him."

I felt nervous as could be with Edward coming in and just saying he'd take care of everything. I wasn't sure how that conversation would go with my

uncle, but I didn't see it going well.

When Edward and I sat him down that night to discuss it all, I expected him to be

angry and tell me no. I was surprised when Uncle Jasper sat quietly contemplating for the longest time before nodding.

"You love him?" he asked.

"Yes, I do," I told him

softly. Edward squeezed my hand and smiled.

"Okay, Isabella. I wasn't prepared to have to take care of a teenager. I won't bail on you, but I want you to be happy. Your father had a lot of nice things to say about Edward here. I will require you to honor your father's wish that you go to college. You'll have plenty of money for that, and pretty much the rest of your life if

you're careful. I just ask that we wait a few months and have a nice wedding in the house here."

"That won't work," Edward said. "I have to get back to school in England, and if Isabella wants to make next semester there, she needs to get going as well. I figured we'd just go to Vegas, spend a week there, and head out. I know it sounds soon, but we love each other, and I will take great care of her. Money isn't a problem."

At eighteen Edward had inherited a great deal of money from his grandfather's trust.

Jasper looked us over uneasily. "I don't feel completely good about

this. I haven't seen you in a long time, Isabella, and I hoped we'd have time to get reacquainted. I have a lot of things to apologize for. We'd be going against what your father wanted in some ways. I just don't know. You're an adult now, but are you positive you know what you're getting into?"

In

reality, no, I wasn't, but I was so ashamed to go back to the church, and it was a little too easy to just run away from it and start a new life with the man I loved so much. Surely, love would make it all right.

Uncle Jasper reluctantly agreed, but his stipulation was that we stay in touch, and that I knew if I changed my mind, he'd be there waiting for me. He and his wife even decided that for the first year they'd just move back to

Forks and live in my father's house. I felt good about that, not wanting it to just be sold off.

Everything in my life was moving at the speed of light, and before I could blink I was standing in front of Edward in a small chapel in the heart of Las Vegas—of all places. He found it amusing as Elvis married us off, promising

that, as soon as we both graduated and settled down somewhere, a huge family wedding would be in order.

I was so frazzled by all my emotions, yet happy to be with my first and only love. I couldn't help but be excited for our future. I didn't get accepted by Oxford, but because I was marrying

Edward and he was bringing me there to stay, they allowed me to take some prerequisite classes so I could get into a smaller school while we were there.

Edward seemed to have the world at his beck and

call, the way he moved everything effortlessly into place. His parents were happy for us, not even sad we hadn't gotten married with them present.

We spent a week in a very nice hotel suite before leaving for England. Edward desperately wanted to make

love, but said we needed to wait. Everything was going so swiftly; he wanted our lives to go slower. He wanted to cherish every moment from then on, and I quite agreed with that.

As we boarded our flight in NYC for England, I still remained rather numb to it

all, as if watching my life on a movie screen. Edward held my hand tightly, and I looked up at him with adoration. He'd matured so much, and the way he just took care of me without question was the most awe-inspiring thing to see. I was never more sure I'd made the right choice.

I looked down to see my embarrassingly large diamond ring, which sat against my engagement band, and closed my

eyes, saying a prayer to God and to my father, hoping that one day I'd feel the forgiveness I was once again asking for.

eyes, saying a prayer to God and to my father, hoping that one day I'd feel the forgiveness I was once again asking for.


	12. Chapter 12

Author's Notes:

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Edited by MarchHare5

Broken Vows

By RobMyDream

Ch.12

Matrimonial Bliss

Edward's POV

A month on...

I was doing my best to keep my wife's head above water. I hated letting her decide not to go to college. I worried every day that she was going to regret my stepping in and making decisions for her when she couldn't. What else I could have done, I'm not sure.

Her uncle Jasper called me every three days to make sure she was okay. He was not happy Isabella decided not to go to school. Nothing is forever though, and I had to believe when she was stronger she'd change her mind. My parents were equally worried about the fact that I'd taken on a bride and school. They loved Isabella, but cautioned me that if I didn't work on our marriage now, we'd never make it with all the pressures she was feeling. I felt it too.

Forgoing the thought of a proper wedding night or even a honeymoon, I was quite disappointed that the dreams I had for us were not quite what they should be, what she deserved.

Last night I'd brought up the fact that I could take a year off from school with her. We could have a proper honeymoon, travel the world, take a nice break to get to know the people we had become. Partners for life: surely that is way more important that even scholarly pursuits? Not only because Isabella and I have enough money combined to

never worry. I would be devastated if this didn't work out, not only because I love her, but because of the pressure of knowing I turned her away from something so important.

I had to remain strong for her no matter what I decided to do. She simply shrugged her shoulders at my suggestion. She was folding in on herself, and I couldn't allow this to destroy her.

When I came home from school that evening I found her in the middle of the bathroom floor, sobbing into a towel, her naked wet body sprawled on the floor, her back against the shower door.

"Baby, what?" I asked, kneeling down beside her and taking her in my arms. She was shaking, and her body was cold, letting me know she'd been sitting here for a while after her shower.

She didn't speak as usual, just sobbed into my sweatshirt. Then after a few minutes, when her breathing finally calmed, she looked up at me with red eyes.

"I can't do this, Edward. I can't make you happy. I can't."

"What are you talking about? We're fine, aren't we?"

"I'm ruining your life. Look, Edward, look how I am paying for breaking my vows, my promises. I don't want you to have to pay as well." Her tiny pruned fingers gripped my sweatshirt tightly.

"What are you saying?" I asked, as a lump stayed in my throat, my nerves frayed.

"Just think about it. We could get an annulment, because we haven't consummated the marriage. I could get back on track, go to a convent, and do what I was meant to do. You'd be able to do what you need to do, and we'll be happy."

She looked up into my eyes with false hope, as if she could fool me better than herself. I felt so angry at that moment. She'd been leading to this, hinting at this for the last three weeks. She was giving up before we even had a chance.

"That's what you want? To leave me, to go somewhere, hide behind your so-called beliefs? Is that honestly what you want? You aren't even going to try? That's it, huh?" I couldn't disguise my sarcasm; of course I was bitter.

I was the only one trying to be endlessly hopeful. I was trying to be the strength for the woman I adored, and all she could do was cry. All she could do was feel guilty about every step we took.

Consummation? Nope, she wouldn't even give that a chance. I was being as patient as I knew how to be, teetering dangerously on anger I wasn't familiar with. The last thing I

wanted to do was say something hurtful, and try as I might I'd done well holding back. She wouldn't even see a therapist.

I stood from the bathroom floor as she stared at me helplessly. I placed my hands over my face, then breathing in deeply, I placed them on my hips. I couldn't even think clearly, but I had to do the right thing. If she needed to go, then I would let her. Because I would never become the resentful husband, I never wanted to live in a house of unrest and hate.

"Look, Isabella. Maybe you're right. Maybe I have made all the wrong decisions. I pushed you too hard, I tried to push you past the pain and tried to give you a life I thought you wanted as well. If I am wrong, all I can do is say I'm sorry. I love you; you know this. There isn't one thing I wouldn't do for you. I guess that includes letting you go. If you want to go, then I will not stand in your way. Just please, think about it first. We haven't even had a chance to be what we can be."

She stared up at me wide-eyed, as if reality suddenly entered her brain. I wasn't sure if it was in my favor, and I meant every word. My heart, however, was pounding out a code, begging her not to break her vow to me. Of course I wasn't sure if I deserved for her to value our vow more than her vow to God.

When she still didn't answer, I walked into the guestroom, closing the door. I hadn't slept next to her in a week; I couldn't deal with it. I wanted to be with her, to love her, and I couldn't take the guilt of listening to her cry at night, her begging me not to touch her.

I sat on the bed, letting tears flow down my cheeks silently. This was so much harder than I ever imagined. The aura of the house was clearly dark, and if I couldn't lift our mood soon, we'd both drown in it. I made my mind up then, I was quitting school to work on us.

Of course if she wanted to leave, I wasn't sure I'd be very good at school right now anyway. I'd lose my chance at going to Oxford, not that I couldn't just re-enroll under my own finances, but it wouldn't be the same, wouldn't feel the same. This was an honor bestowed on me in the form of a special academic scholarship.

However, it would never mean more than the woman out there hurting. I felt so much remorse at not being able to make her feel secure. My heart was literally breaking in my chest. It wasn't like me to feel this way, and it made it all the more painful and confusing.

I don't know how much time had passed when I woke up on the bed in the same position I had sat in, though my upper body had somehow fallen back into a dreamless sleep. The house was dark and too quiet. I hoped she went to bed to get some sleep. I became confused when I heard a tiny knock on the bedroom door.

"Edward?" A whisper of her voice echoed against the door.

"Yes, baby?" I said, still unable to lift my head from the bed.

"Can I come in?"

"Of course, sweetheart." I sat up as the door opened painfully slowly. She stepped in in her t-shirt and shorts which she normally slept in. She looked so tired and weak.

"I made dinner," she said, standing before me in submission, her hands clasped in front of her, her head down, her eyes staring at the floor.

"You did?" I asked, surprised, because the last time she'd made me anything to eat was a couple years ago when we started dating. She was a wonderful cook, but she hadn't been in the mood to feed herself, let alone me.

I beckoned her with my arm outstretched, and she looked up before walking into my arms. Her hands clasped around my neck.

"Baby?" I said, desperately looking up at her. "Please, don't leave me." I caressed her back gently as she looked down at me lovingly, worry lines creasing her forehead.

She shook her head, and I smiled. "I'm trying-I will try harder. I'm sorry, Edward. I have been so horrible to you." I lifted her tiny body onto my lap, and the scent of her fresh skin ignited me.

"I understand, sweetness. I meant what I said, though; if you need to go, I won't stop you. I won't make it easy," I chuckled lightly kissing her cheek, "but I won't stop you."

She led me into the kitchen where she'd made a wonderful home-cooked meal: steak, potatoes, and green beans. She always could cook, which was one of the things I adored about her. She had the key to my heart, as well as my stomach.

We ate in mostly silence, as I tried not to push her. She seemed to feel better, but I wasn't stupid enough to believe everything was just okay. I held her hand throughout our very silent meal, occasionally making eye contact and playing with her wedding ring on her finger.

After dinner she refused to let me help her do the dishes, so I watched her from the table, noticing that, even though she'd been eating poorly, somehow before my eyes her body was really taking on the curves of a woman, her skin smooth, her legs long and graceful. She was so enticing, and I wasn't about to push her further than she was ready for. I'd give her time, but it was so hard. I wanted her badly.

No longer able to take watching her, I went into the bathroom of the guestroom so I could clean up for the night and find some release. I didn't like doing it, knowing the woman I loved-my wife-was so close, and yet I couldn't touch her. She was never ready; she was confused now about what she wanted. I couldn't take her way out away from her. It was clear we might never consummate our marriage.

It angered me that she was using that as her way back to where she thought she belonged. I was at fault though, surely, for rushing her to marry me. Maybe self-consciously I did it because I knew she really had no one else; she loved me, and she'd given herself to me in so many ways already. I just took us the final step where I felt we'd undoubtedly be eventually.

I looked under the sink where I'd hidden a Playboy magazine. I normally didn't look at stuff like this, at least not since I was fifteen. However, it helped me to quickly get where I needed to be, so I could rest with some semblance of peace.

It didn't take long before I stroked my throbbing need, as Isabella always got me going no matter what she wore, or how disinterested she seemed. I forgot the faces on the page as I imagined it was her body I entered, her skin I peppered in sweet kisses, her arms that encircled me, her moans that entered my hearing.

I closed my eyes soon, dropping the magazine, opting for firmer, slower strokes. My breath increased, my heart pounding. When I heard a small gasp, my eyes shot open to focus on Isabella. I stared at her, as my hand let go of my penis. She stared back, wide- eyed. She hadn't seen me naked like this since the night she'd asked to see it.

I supposed each night in my guilty routine, I had hoped she'd walk in, suddenly wanting me as much as I desired her, but now I just felt guilty, as if I were cheating on her. She looked as if she pitied me at that moment, when my brain unfroze and I grabbed a towel to cover myself. She stepped forward tentatively.

"No. Don't cover up."

I was confused of course, but I stopped myself.

"I'm sorry Isabella," I said, awkwardly grabbing the magazine from the floor, which her eyes were focused on with mild interest. I shoved it back into the cabinet below the sink. "I'll get rid of it," I said, slowly. She bit her lip shyly.

She was silent as my penis throbbed painfully. I didn't know how to tell her to give me a few minutes, when she so clearly needed me right now.

"I'm hurting you."

"No," I shook my head. "You're not."

I watched, stunned, as she lifted her t-shirt over her head, then took off her shorts with her panties. She unhooked her bra, then walked forward timidly and took my hand. Her chin raising, her eyes met mine, a small innocent smile lighting her lips. She eyed me below before blushing, and I couldn't help but smile, even in my utter shock.

This couldn't mean what I thought it did. I was deeply aroused; this was Isabella-I had to be wrong. I followed none the less. I watched her gorgeous behind as I walked behind her through our darkened house, the light from the kitchen still on. She led us to our bedroom and sat on the bed, perching her leg on the edge and spreading her legs. Leaning back on her elbow, she closed her eyes and swallowed visibly.

"Isabella, no," I said, confused. This couldn't be what she wanted.

Her eyes opened as she lifted her head to stare up at me. Her cheeks flushed as she sat up, closing her offering to me. Her feet made feather light sounds as they touched the wooden floor. She crossed her arms over her chest.

"You...don't...want me?" She started shaking before I woke up enough to realize just what I was supposedly rejecting. I sat next to her, thigh to thigh, making her jump slightly.

"Stop, honey. Don't cover yourself. You are so beautiful. I love you-I was just shocked. Are you trying to say you are suddenly ready?"

"I want to be, but maybe I never will be if I keep letting my fear take over. I just want so badly to make you happy. To make you realize I am so thankful for every moment since I met you. I know I've been up and down. I married you, and I have been treating you like a leper. I'm sorry, Edward. I want this marriage. I want you so much. I'm tired of being sad and afraid."

I put an arm around her, leaning her body into mine. Her eyes focused on my middle, she giggled, covering her face with her hand. It sounded insane to me that she could change her mood so quickly; of course she hadn't been anything but sad for weeks. If I did this, if we made love, would she only regret it later?

I was pretty sure I couldn't hold back if she said yes.

"Do you want me, baby?" I asked, tenderly lifting her chin for a kiss.

"Yes. Please, make love to me, Edward."

"Okay, now I am nervous," I told her, smiling as she looked up at me. She smiled back and shook her head.

"I want my husband," she whispered softly. That was all I needed, and I needed to make this great, which was going to be monumentally hard since she was always so tense when we were intimate, and this would be her first time. I would almost rather wait till I could make it special, but there was no way I was walking in that bathroom now to jack off alone when my wife finally wanted me.

I pulled her into my arms, eliciting an excited giggle from her as I scooted us back against our pillows. Her breath was already increased monumentally, when I realized she was probably having a heart attack next to my erection.

"You okay?" I asked excitedly as I laid her gently down next to me, my mouth going dry.

"Please, Edward...No questions." I understood completely. She wanted this first time to be past us, to move on, to just stop being scared. I wanted that for her too, but I would be damned if I rushed this. No way. If she wanted this, I was going to make love to her, and

hopefully, without regret, change her mind.

"I promise to be gentle, baby. " She nodded slowly as I settled myself between her legs. Leaning forward, weight on my elbows, I kissed her deeply. Her pillowed lips melted into mine as her head hit the pillow gently. I could feel her pebbled nipples against my chest, and I felt a small growl form in my throat.

She smiled, lacing her hands through my hair, pulling me back to her mouth. "I love kissing

you, Edward," she spoke, making me joyous.

"Oh. My God. I love you, Isabella! Please, say we'll be okay?" I asked softly as I gently rubbed my pelvis against hers. Her body was already coated in a fine perspiration, her stomach pushing against mine as she tried to control her breathing. I stared into her eyes, hoping I wouldn't find fear there. I didn't.

For the first time I saw lust in my girl's eyes. Lust and love. Maybe things would work themselves out. It had been the strangest day, the strangest month of my life. I tried so hard to make everything alright, and it seemed when I'd almost given up she woke up.

z88;

Isabella's POV

It felt so illicit having his body so close to mine. I was wide open for him; never had we been this close to each other. It was like an alarm bell went off. The minute he decided it was okay for me to go, that he'd make that sacrifice and walked out of the room, it was like lightning struck me. I could barely breathe.

Edward was everything to me, and instead of drawing on strength from him and God, I was just allowing myself to wallow in my misery. Surely God didn't blame me for my actions. I decided then and there if He did blame me, I wasn't sure He was a God I wanted to follow.

The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. My God would never be so heartless; He would want me to enjoy my marriage, enjoy the gift of the man whom I married, a man who'd been selfless in caring for me, who'd loved me selflessly for over two years now, waiting patiently.

Edward deserved my love; he'd earned it big time. My love, my heart, my virtue was now his to take as a gift from me, his wife. I wanted to be happy, and realizing he'd sacrifice everything for me, once again-well, I couldn't let that happen. As I realized it, it seemed so simple. That black cloud above my head seemed to lift, and my heart called out to him. He would wait no more.

I had no idea he looked at those kind of magazines. It shocked me at first, but mostly what shocked me was the need in his body, the way his hardened penis seemed to reach out for relief, for love, for warmth. I almost laughed as I thought about it, but realized my body felt that too. That need to be sated.

Suddenly it didn't make sense to be afraid of this, so afraid of something God created in His people. Yes, I lusted, and that was indeed a sin, but between a husband and wife it was different. It should be this way; not stolen moments hidden deep in the cover of darkness, but stark wanton gratified need in the light of day. I didn't want to miss the way his eyes looked now, intense, heavy with want, the way his breath ghosted across my lips, heating me, intoxicating me.

His naked center connected with mine, and I delighted in the feeling I'd almost forgotten the night he'd given me my first orgasm; only this was different. This was indescribable. This was a connection like no other in the world, and I wanted it. I no longer feared what I didn't understand, because I knew one thing. He loved me, and hurting me was the farthest thing from his mind. He wanted everything for me, for us.

I wanted that too.

I began thrusting back against him boldly, and he smiled against our kiss.

"Yess, sweetheart," he moaned sweetly. "There is nothing you could do to make me want you less." He pushed harder against my nub, his undoubtedly painful erection smothered between us.

After a few lusty thrusts, we each moaned in joy. "Edward, I don't ever want to be without you. I'm so sorry." He shook his head. There would be no tears of regret, only moving forward.

"Isabella, I feel-I want you to have my child. Are you ready?" I couldn't believe what he was saying. We hadn't even had sex yet. I lifted his face to me, away from his ministrations against my chest. I wanted it, but maybe now was too soon.

I kissed him while my eyes painfully questioned what he meant. Now?

"No. I don't mean now, but eventually. Someday? We haven't really discussed it. Sorry, baby. Bad timing," he chuckled softly. Then he reached over to the bedside drawer to pull out a box of condoms.

"I don't want you have to use those," I said, defeated, while my heart still pounded away in my chest.

"Me either, sweetheart, but if we do it without, you can still get pregnant, even your first time. I don't want any regrets, and after this morning..." He trailed off, then laid his head down on my chest. His hand stalled, then dropping the box back into the drawer, in between his fingers he held a small black square package with a ring formed in it.

"Edward, I promise. I want it all with you. No regrets. If we get pregnant, it will be because it was meant to be...Unless you aren't ready." Of course I was once again being two-faced in my decisions. I knew my church was mostly against the use of any type of birth control between married partners, but Edward was right: Letting it happen now, would that be good for us?

Then again I had to remain steadfast in my faith. I couldn't just discount it all because I was away from my center. The church taught that things must happen naturally, and that children of course were a blessing bestowed on a couple by a loving God. If we didn't want children,

we'd simply have to abstain, which is also against the church.

He was about to rip the packet with his teeth when I stopped him.

"We can't use that, Edward." He stalled, looking down at me with a glossy yet painful expression. He was beyond ready to go. With a frustrated sigh he dropped it onto the table.

"Okay," he said, waiting patiently.

"My religion forbids..."

"Of course, I forgot. Yes, well, what do we do if we aren't ready then?" he asked softly, nuzzling my breast with his nose.

"Then we simply have to abstain, but I won't do that to you, Edward. I am ashamed I have made my husband wait this long. I'm so sorry. You have been more than patient. Please, don't worry; I trust God to know when we are ready."

"Isabella, I want children with you. I won't do anything that breaks your beliefs, but are you really ready for all this?" He motioned between us, and I knew I was.

"Yes, baby. I truthfully am." With that he reached down between us and began touching me-there. I nearly came unglued. He smiled softly, whispering for me to let go, and let go I did.

Once I came he smiled at me, kissing me tenderly, reverently. "I love you so much, baby," he said, before positioning his erection at my entrance. Just the head pressing against my opening was enough to make me inhale a deep breath, even as he tried to relax me with sweet tender words.

It was such a dichotomy, trying to balance my beliefs with the fact that Edward didn't believe as I did, and mostly did this out of respect for me. I felt it wasn't fair to ask him to become Catholic, though it wasn't a requirement. We did talk about our children being raised Catholic, which he said he didn't mind. It still made me uneasy though.

I loved him, and the thought of us dying and not ending up in heaven together just didn't sit well with me. So no matter how I tried to just live and love, I worried a lot. This final step in making our marriage valid was exciting, thrilling, and at the same time scary.

He seemed frozen at my entrance as he stared down into my eyes. I could see him holding back, gauging my reactions. He never wanted me to be hurt. It made me love him so much more, knowing this. Go ahead, I urged with my hands on his face. His beautiful loving smile formed before my eyes.

Sweat rolled down the sides of his face as he pressed in further. I took in gulps of breath before letting them out slowly. He kissed and sucked my breasts, trying to distract me in between thrusts, trying to hopefully get my body used to his girth.

After about fifteen minutes of trying to enter me, he finally just pushed in. It wasn't going to be easy or smooth. It was too hard to just get him inside for that. So when he did finally

force his way, the pain was quick and almost numbing before he stilled again.

"You okay?" he panted again.

I had my eyes closed tight, but upon hearing his voice I relaxed, opening them. I nodded. He winced, seeing the tension in my face, but he knew as did I it wouldn't always be like this.

"I love you, I love you, love you," he chanted until he was seated fully inside me. I could see his elation mixed with fear, and tried my hardest to smile through it.

He kissed me passionately, his tongue mixing with mine, as his fingers once again worked against my clitoris. This relaxed me much more, but I was still too sore to really enjoy what he was doing.

"Go ahead, Edward. Just come, okay? I just want you to come." He nodded in understanding as he thrust harder, still watching me intently. The more he moved, the more I didn't notice the pain as much. I was just delighted to be giving this joy to the man I loved.

After some moments he finally came, pressing hard into my core. His eyes closed tight, his long torturous moan filling the room. I held him close as he melted against me.

Yes, even through the pain of my first time, I knew we'd be okay. Because we could conquer anything-together.


	13. Chapter 13

Author's Notes:

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Edited by MarchHare5

Broken Vows

By RobMyDream

Ch.13

Epilogue

And HIS greatest gift is love

Isabella's POV

I awoke to a stream of sunlight across my eyelids. Immediately my womanly area started to throb lightly. I could feel a blush creep to my cheeks, his warm arm wrapped heavily around my naked stomach, gripping me to him, even in his sleep. I opened my eyes and smiled.

What, the world didn't end?

He was right, I had to calm down. I had to stop putting myself through this mountain of guilt. I turned to him, smiling, as he lay on his stomach, drooling into his pillow. He looked so innocent, but his toned muscle-bound arm which held me firmly, almost possessively, told a different story.

As I watched him sleep his eye popped open, watching me back.

"Hi, honey. Do you want me to go make breakfast?"

"No," was his reply. He scooted onto his side, then pulled me against him for a kiss. His lips were soft, pliable, warm, and tasted just like my Edward. The emotion that swept through me at that moment was beyond intense.

I was so tired of fighting my feelings for him. It felt too good to be held by him, naked in our bed. Holding onto each other for dear life, kissing until breath was a necessity.

I wondered often in the last couple of years, why this boy would want me, why he'd even want to know me. We were two completely different people, going in very different directions. He was always so confident about us, that we'd just fit together-somehow.

He was so bold.

Gently he lowered the sheet from around our hips, revealing our naked bodies in the morning light of the bedroom. I didn't want to take my eyes from his as they roamed my body. He kept scooting us closer together, gripping my side with his gentle long fingers, then finally hitching my leg over his hip.

His tongue probed gently until my lips parted and he tasted my tongue. He was hard between us, and I stared unashamed in between kisses. Something about his body was just so beautiful, if you could say that about a man. He was all man in my eyes, put together so perfectly.

"I love you," he spoke in a whisper, and I brought my eyes from his pelvis to his face. His green eyes burned into mine. I blushed, though he wasn't laughing. He had a serene look of intense desire on his face. He held my gaze as his hand lowered between us, just touching the lips of my folds. I felt a shiver run down my spine. He scooted us closer until his chest fell against mine, but still his hand roamed in the small space between us.

He smoothed his fingers over my thighs and hips before kissing me again.

"I love you too," I finally spoke, though my voice would hardly make the sounds I needed. He heard me, though, and smiled. His head lowered, latching on to my nipple, sucking firmly before pulling up with his teeth lightly and letting go.

He grinned mischievously as I blushed, running my fingers through his wild hair and tugging lightly so he'd kiss me. We'd barely been awake five minutes, and he had my body wound tightly.

His thumb began dancing lightly against my sensitive area, making my pelvis jump. I could hear his chuckle through our kisses. I whined.

"Are you making fun of me?" He pulled back, looking at me.

"I would say no, but I'd be lying. You are so special to me, Isabella. I am so glad you chose me. I want you to feel as amazing as you make me feel. You are so enticing."

I pounded lightly against his chest in mock anger, then buried my head in the pillow between us.

"Sometimes I wish I wasn't so...innocent," I replied, as his arms came around my body to hold me to him.

"I don't. I am glad you are who you are. Don't be ashamed, Isabella."

His hand once again found my core, stirring me up again, making me feel relaxed, and yet hungry for more. It was getting harder and harder to control my breathing, as I turned my face from the pillow I was hiding against. Keeping my eyes shut, I moaned, though I hadn't meant to.

"So gorgeous," I heard him whisper, his breath ghosting across my face. "Open your eyes, baby."

I did, while his fingers played at the entrance to my vagina. His finger gently traced the opening, dipping gently inside and then out again. I kept my eyes focused on his. A gush of fluid ran down his fingers from inside me, and he smiled barely, but his breath was heavy, and he quickly recovered. His lips pouted as he held my attention, shudder after shudder leaving my body breathless.

He brought one finger up between us; it glistened. Bringing it down against my pink nipple, he circled it's bud with the wetness, and before I could even be appalled at the boldness of the action, his hungry mouth came down to taste it. My head went light, and I closed my eyes, my scent heavy between us.

"Dear God," I moaned, as he licked away my essence. Spurred on by my elation, his lips found mine in a passionate kiss, before pressing me firmly against the bed and disappearing between my legs.

"Baby, I want to taste you ," he begged, as his arms hugged my thighs. I looked down at him through my hands which covered my face. I felt uneasy, but I didn't protest as I nodded.

"Watch me, baby. Don't look away. This isn't shameful; I want to love you."

His fingers gently parted my folds before his tongue shot out to lave at my heated skin. It felt so amazing. I watched him and he never took his eyes away from mine. Before too long I felt that bubbling from last night in my stomach, only this time it was more intense. I screamed out when his tongue entered me and his lips clamped around my middle.

"Oh, God!" I screamed, as my orgasm tore through my body. "Edward! Oh, God!" It was like it would never end, and I couldn't control the way I reacted to it. I hadn't even noticed his desperate attempt to get inside me as I continued to ride out the intense pleasure.

With my head pushed back into my pillow, I felt his warm body cover mine, before I even realized he was inside me. He groaned almost painfully as he found my lips. His hips moved against mine almost automatically, slowly sliding in and out. My sex was so sensitive to each thrust, it was almost too much to feel at once.

I grabbed his hair as I reveled in the joy he was giving me. I loved him so much, and it made everything so much more intense. My lips found his hungrily, and I held his mouth to mine. "I love you, Edward. Oh, God. I love you!" His grin couldn't have been any wider.

Though I protested his doing it, Edward went after breakfast to go to his school and give up his scholarship spot at Oxford. I cried and pouted that he shouldn't, but he'd made up his mind. I was his focus for the next year.

When he got home that evening he called my Uncle Jasper to let him know we'd be going on our honeymoon effective immediately. Just like everything since we'd gotten married, Edward moved swiftly, so at ease with arranging our traveling plans.

Soon we sat on the beach in Cabo, Mexico, lying on a towel in the sand, just two days after making the decision. It was something about Edward that I loved. He could be so sure about every decision he made. He'd do it with no regrets and no looking back. I wanted to be like that.

So for the most part I let him lead the way, so amazed by our new intimate relationship.

"Are you hot?" he whispered in my ear, sitting behind me on a secluded part of beach, the ocean as our breathtaking view. Seagulls flew and wailed over our heads.

"I'm okay," I said, wrinkling my nose at him. He'd made me feel so much more comfortable with my body, but I still wasn't ready to show the world. I had on a light peach-colored robe over my black bikini, and Edward was intent that the robe needed to go.

His lips explored my neck and my left shoulder, while he gently pulled my robe off my right shoulder. I giggled like a shy school girl, though he kept up his mission to let the sun see my skin.

I kept pulling the material back up, and he'd chuckle before pushing it back off. It was a completely lovely day, while we sipped lemonade and talked about the future we wanted to have.

Edward had amazed me every single day since I met him. There was just no way in this world I could deny the love we had. He was a miracle in a life where I made decisions based on fear and the unknown.

I became bolder because of him; I loved harder, I wanted more, I asked him for his body, and he asked me for mine. There was nothing like loving Edward Cullen, nothing at all, and if that wasn't a gift from God, I didn't know what was. To waste that would have been the ultimate sin on earth.

We spent that whole year traveling the world. I got heavily into charity work, and soon became an ambassador for Hungry Children United, a foundation I started with Edward's help.

I learned so much and did more than I ever imagined I would. I still wondered what my life would have been like had I entered the monastery. I would never say I wouldn't have been fulfilled there, but I knew that my life was just as full and meaningful now.

After our year off to get to know each other and the world, we became much calmer people, more in tune with each other, and content as ever. We decided to make London our home, and Edward returned to Oxford under his own steam.

He seemed so much better prepared to handle the classes and much more at ease, knowing I was home preparing things for my foundation and feeling like I was doing something great for the world around me.

It was deep into summer, an agonizingly warm day, when Edward came home to find me laid out on our bed. I was six months pregnant and naked as the day I was born, trying to cool off and get a nap.

He was home for lunch, and upon first sight of me he of course decided a different kind of lunch was in order. My endlessly horny husband tried to be sneaky as he crawled up beside me, kissing my swollen belly.

"Mmm. Hey there, beautiful lady, I hear you're carrying my baby." I opened my eyes, rolling them at him, before closing them to push him away. He was such a goofball.

"Don't touch me, I'm hot," I said, pushing on his chest gently.

"Oh, yes you are," he said, straddling me and hugging my belly to him, his hands carefully cupping my swollen breasts.

"You are so beautiful, Isabella. Never have I been so happy. Hi, baby," he spoke against my stomach, causing me to laugh.

"I should go make you lunch. I am obviously not getting a nap today," I told him, trying to get up.

"God, I just want you so bad right now," he announced with a lazy grin. I could see he wasn't kidding as his arousal was quite evident. I don't know what it was about my pregnant form, but it sent Edward's hormones into overdrive.

And I was so tired every day. Not that I was complaining. The pregnancy wasn't planned, which was fine. Regardless, once my church back home found out about it, they quietly, with great apology from most, had me excommunicated. I was appalled at first, their explanation being that I had failed to be faithful to my church. Which was true I had not

gone back to church even here in England. I had no plans to raise my children Catholic, because I wanted them to have the choice when they were old enough to understand what they were doing.

I still believe greatly in God, I just don't feel I need the influence of man to make me a better person. Church can be a wonderful, united community, but you should never live out your faith in fear. I won't ever do that again. I own up to who I am, and who I have chosen to be.

If it hadn't been for my Uncle Jasper and Edward I would have probably had a nervous breakdown. I know in my heart, though, that the decisions I made weren't wrong. I just took that different path, and not once would I allow myself to regret that. Only God could judge me.

I didn't make it to the kitchen to make Edward's lunch, and he didn't make it back to school that day. Instead he ended up naked with his back against the headboard as I straddled him, my burgeoning belly cradled between us. I could never get enough of him, the way he cherished me. The way he held our union in the highest regard.

His parents were absolutely ecstatic to know we were bringing a child into the world. They were planning a trip to see us very soon. So all in all, I think I found exactly what I needed. I often look back on all the times I worried so hard, and wonder how I could allow myself to live so filled with fear, and think that was the right way to go. For some people it is the right way, but my home, my safety, my sanity is wrapped up in my husband, my baby, and of course the most important of them all, God.

P.S. Don't tell Edward it's a boy.

Here's to our future…

The End


End file.
